Finding Forever
by TheVoiceInMyHead
Summary: With Bella's life in danger, Edward asks Carlisle to get her out of Forks. But as the city of Paris soon surrounds them with new friends, enemies and adventure, it also begins to show them that love can be shared even between the unlikeliest of people. Bella/Carlisle.
1. Between The Lines

**A/N: Hey everyone! I'm back with a new story and extremely excited about it! I wanted to do a Jasper/Bella, but somehow I got sucked into doing another Carlisle/Bella.** **Either way, I hope you all think it's great, because I'm hoping it will be. This storyline is definitely something I'm going to have fun with! Enjoy everyone! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything belongs to SMeyer. :)**

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"Reason and love are sworn enemies." - Corneille

Chapter One

Between The Lines

Edward sauntered into the dimly lit study, barely watching where he was going, and placed himself idly on a chair. For a moment, he did nothing, merely continuing to stare into space, thinking hard. But his silence didn't last for he sighed agitatedly the next minute, and began to wring his hands. His face crinkled in thought.

"You know I wouldn't ask if I had any other choice. It feels like this is only thing I can do to keep her safe."

Carlisle placed his book down on his desk and looked at his troubled son sympathetically. He chose not to reply since it looked as though Edward still had more to say on the matter.

"I don't want to do this…to you, to her." He sprung up from his chair and began to pace the length of the rug. "But, I'm powerless to do anything else. She won't like it; she'll hate it, in fact. But even Alice thinks it might be for the better."

"Edward," Carlisle sighed, "You have no need to convince me. If it is what you want, and Bella is agreeable, of course I'll do it."

Edward nodded absentmindedly, not making eye contact with his company. "You've said that. Many times."

"And I meant it. Everytime."

Edward continued to pace, but looked up, meeting eyes with his father. "Carlisle, think about it. You'll have to take time off work, leave Esme and the others here in Forks, basically giving up all time and effort into keeping Bella safe. I wouldn't even be asking you if I felt like there was someone else I could possibly ask. I trust you with Bella wholly, Carlisle, but this might be too much."

"Edward," Carlisle said, raising himself off his chair as well, "Bella is my family now too. I care about her safety as much as you do. Esme and the others are capable of surviving a short time without me. And as for my work, that can be easily arranged. I'm not the only doctor in Forks."

Edward crossed his arms, clearly torn between accepting Carlisle's help and trying to find any other way to solve this problem. But nothing else seemed plausible; this was the only rational idea he had had. Carlisle placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Edward, if this falls between the lines of my duties as your father, as Bella's, then I want nothing more than to help. After all, even I can acknowledge the current situation has gotten out of hand."

Dread seemed to fill Edward as he thought of their trouble, presently lurking in the forest. Instinctively, he glanced over his shoulder, through the great glass wall and into the thicket, searching for a single movement in the trees. There seemed to be nothing for now, but Edward knew that Victoria was sly. After all, she had eluded capture by the Cullens and the wolves for months now. She simply disappeared after an attempted attack, nimbly flitting past them into the trees, not seen again for weeks. Each time she came back, it was with renewed vengeance.

Only last week, she had almost killed Bella, cornering her alone in her room the night Edward had hunted. Luckily, Alice had seen it, and being on her way over anyway, made it in time to save Bella's life, almost losing her own.

After that incident, Edward had not left Bella's side for a second. The darkness of his eyes and purple shadows beneath them easily admitted his hunger, but hunting could not even cross Edward's mind until Victoria was dead. It was simply the most important thing to him. Bella was always most important.

Edward sighed. "I'm just…afraid." He admitted lowly. Edward could never say he was scared to anyone other than Carlisle. There was something between them, forged in the years they had spent alone, that could enable Edward to speak to him like he did to no one else. With his brothers, it was always competition. Telling them he was scared was like admitting defeat; it was cowardly.

Carlisle nodded understandingly.

Edward continued, "I've never known a vampire like Victoria. What if I can't kill her? What if she hurts one of us…or worse yet, Bella? I feel like I'm never doing enough to keep her safe, she always seems to be in the path of it. I'm scared because I have nothing left to offer. _This _is my only option."

"Victoria is definitely challenging, but once Bella is out of harm's way, I know you can destroy her, Edward. You are capable. Never once have you failed in a battle."

"This is no ordinary battle. This time I'm fighting for something more important than ever." He turned himself to look at Carlisle, desperation clear in his very face. "She is my life, Carlisle. I can't spend one moment in peace if she isn't completely safe or happy. Please protect her for me, Carlisle, _please._"

Carlisle nodded, acknowledging that Edward had made his mind up. "You know I will, Edward."

Edward's eyes dropped and he slumped back in the chair, still on edge. "She's all I have. If I lost her…"

"We won't lose her." Carlisle said firmly, also reseating himself behind his desk, "So, who shall tell her? Will it be you or I?"

At this, Edward looked up, seemingly listening to something far away. After a moment, he cracked a tiny smile.

"Neither. It seems like Alice has seen our whole conversation. She's on her way to tell Bella now."

Carlisle nodded, picking up his book again and pretending to read as Edward left the room. Once the door clicked behind his son, he carefully folded the cover over and dropped his book back on the wooden desktop, placing his head in his hands and thinking of nothing but his son, Victoria and inexorably, Bella Swan.

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I should've known the moment there was a knock on my window that nothing good could come of it. Alice Cullen's smiling face filled the window frame and she pulled herself into my room, shaking raindrops from her inky black hair.

"Hi Bella!" She said excitedly, descending to where I lay sprawled on my bed and planting a firm kiss on my cheek. "What are you up to?"

I rolled my eyes and held up the book I had been reading. "What's it look like, Alice?"

She puckered her lips disapprovingly at my attitude. I sighed and pulled myself into a sitting position to make room for her on the bed, and she planted herself gracefully beside me. "I'm sorry, Alice. It's just annoying that Edward's sent a babysitter already, he's only been gone for half an hour. I swear he hasn't left me alone for a week…even when I'm in the bathroom, he sits outside the door…"

Alice laughed her tinkling laugh. "Oh, Bella, don't be so hard on him. He's been extremely worried about you. Anyway, he didn't send me…well, not exactly."

I sighed and placed my book on the bedside table. Alice watched me curiously, biting her lip as if she was positively bursting to say something. I decided to keep her happy and take the bait.

"What are you smiling about?" I asked, feigning indifference.

She giggled. "Bella, you won't like this at all. But, please, for Edward's sake, be kind to him about it. Remember that he loves you, and that's why he's doing this."

My stomach dropped. "Oh no…what are you about to throw at me? Is it about Victoria?"

Alice took my hands in hers. Whether she was comforting me or rather, just holding me down, I couldn't tell. I waited, biting on my lip, for her to explain. Her golden eyes examined me closely as she thought of how to begin.

"He feels like you're not safe enough in Forks." She said slowly, "Not with Victoria still alive and especially not after what happened last week."

"Okay…" I said, waiting anxiously.

"Edward wants to get you out of Forks for a bit," Alice explained, "Until he can kill Victoria, he doesn't want you here, in harm's way. He just wants to know that you're safe while he focuses his whole attention on getting rid of her."

I froze, not fully understanding what she was implying. Alice registered my confusion and proceeded to take a deep breath before continuing. "Bella…you're going on a trip for a while."

I gulped, a million thoughts flying through me at once. I had so many questions, so many things I wanted to say, but I didn't know where to start. "I…wha-?"

Alice smiled a little, relieved I hadn't started screaming at her. "He's asked Carlisle to take you. Edward himself can't go because _he_ wants to be the one to kill Victoria, and I can't either, because I need to stay to be able to see what her next moves are. Carlisle is the only one he trusts completely with you."

I jumped off the bed and began to pace. "So, what you're saying is… Edward's going to ship me off to a different city, while he stays here and kills the crazy vampire trying to murder me? Great." I said sarcastically, "Where's my plane ticket?"

Alice sighed, shaking her head at me. "Bella, don't be angry. He wants to keep you alive, that's why he's doing this. And anyway, he was thinking of sending you to a different continent entirely."

"What?" I screeched, coming to a stop in my pacing. "No. No. Absolutely not. If he thinks I'm just going to let him-"

"I don't think it's up to you, Bella. He's made up his mind."

"Alice!" I groaned, frustrated.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Don't 'Alice' me. It wasn't my idea. I wish it was though, because I think it makes perfect sense."

I dropped myself back on the bed dejectedly. "So, I pretty much have no say in this, then. Fine." I fell on my mattress facedown, burying my face in the pillow. Alice squeezed my leg and I felt her weight lift off the bed.

"Don't be so melodramatic, Bella. Just go and have some fun. Don't think about anything else, just pretend it's a vacation."

"Vacations aren't fun if you're being forced into them." I mumbled into the pillow. "Where are you vampires sending me to anyway?"

Alice giggled. "Well, I had an idea. How would you like to visit Paris?"

My eyebrows lifted and I pulled my face out of the pillow to look at Alice incredulously. I guessed she could see the irrepressible excitement on my face because she grinned widely.

"Paris? As in, France?"

She nodded. "I figured you'd like to see the Eiffel Tower at least once in your lifetime. And I remember the food being absolutely divine. Of course, the hotel you'll be staying at is magnificent itself, as well. You'll have an absolutely wonderful time, Bella, just try to enjoy it."

I sighed, beginning to think that maybe this wouldn't be entirely horrific. "Fine, I'll try. When do we leave?"

"Hm," She said, walking over to the window and pulling it open again. "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" I asked, shocked. "What can I possibly tell Charlie to convince him to let me go to Paris _tomorrow_?"

Alice was pulling her leg through the frame, and she jumped lightly to the tree in front of my window. She winked mischievously at me. "Leave Charlie to me."

Her hand extended and shut the window, leaving me utterly alone to think of how I could possibly sleep tonight when Paris awaited me the very next morning. I flicked the bedside lamp off and settled into bed.

Smiling, I pulled the blanket over my head and laughed to myself when I thought of the conversation Alice Cullen was undoubtedly going to have with my father.

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**Hope you all enjoyed it so far! Please review with your thoughts so I can update soon! :)**


	2. Say Goodbye

**A/N: You are all too kind! Thank you to each reviewer and to each person who favorited or alerted my story. Promise I wont let you down ;)**

**Disclaimer: SMeyer owns all.**

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"When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew." - William Shakespeare

Chapter Two

Say Goodbye

I folded my arms tightly across my chest and glared at Edward.

"You know I'm mad at you, right?"

He concealed an amused grin as he continued to pack up my things. "Really? I had no idea."

"Well, I am." I huffed, lifting myself off the chair. I passed Edward one of my shirts, which he proceeded to fold neatly and stuff away in the depths of my suitcase. "Absolutely furious."

He looked up and raised an eyebrow at me curiously. "Bella, please don't be so stubborn."

I decided that it was in my best interest not to say anything more and continued to pass him more of my things to pack for the trip. We worked in silence, and finally, when all my things were packed, Edward zipped up the bag with finality. He glanced around my room once, and then looked at me, smiling.

"It looks like you're set then, Bella."

I grunted in response and dropped down on my bed indifferently, burying my nose inside of my novel. I heard Edward sigh and then felt him sit warily down beside me. I focused furiously on one single line on the page, not gaining an ounce of meaning from it. Edward gently removed the book from my fingers and turned my chin to look at him.

"Please don't be upset with me, love. This is much safer for you."

I continued to glare at him. His brow wrinkled.

"Please, Bella? We only have two hours before your flight. Do you really want to spend it mad at me?"

I supposed he was right. I sighed in defeat and took the book out of Edward's hand, throwing it atop my suitcase carelessly. "I just hate that you think you can make decisions for me, Edward. I swear, sometimes you act like you're my father."

He grimaced at the thought, and pulled me into his chest. "I'm sorry. Please don't be upset anymore."

I attempted to pull myself out of his hold, but fell against his chest when I couldn't escape his strength. "I'm not mad," I mumbled into his chest, "Just annoyed. What if you hadn't been able to convince me to go? Tell me the truth; would you have forced me?"

He allowed me to pull my head up from his embrace to look at him. He thought in silence for a moment, and then replied: "Most likely."

"So, against my will or not, I would be on that plane in two hours?"

He chuckled. "Yes, you would."

I didn't understand what he found so amusing. "Great." I mumbled, dispirited.

"Bella," He said, the smile on his face faltering, "I always have your best interests at heart. You and I both know that being as far as possible from Victoria is the best option for you right now. Besides, don't you _want _to go to Paris? I know you'll have an excellent time."

I ran an agitated hand through my hair, feeling as though he was missing my point completely.

"Edward," I said, frustrated, "It's not about whether I'll have a good time or not. It's about the fact that _you _feel like you can decide things for me, as if I'm not capable of making my own choices."

"Bella, you know I-"

"Yes, you have my best interests at heart!" I said heatedly, "But, you could have at least asked me what I thought of the plan first. Instead of choosing for me, you could have included me, and whether I refused to go or not, I would have at least been able to see your side of it."

Edward went silent at my outburst and watched me unhappily as I collected myself. I got up from the bed and walked to window, feeling suddenly quite hot. I could hear him get up to follow, but I didn't turn when he stood himself directly behind me.

"Bella," He said quietly into my ear, "I didn't think of it that way. I'm sorry I didn't ask you first. Sometimes I just feel like I need to decide these things for you because otherwise I won't have any sort of control over your safety. I really only want to keep you safe."

I closed my eyes and put my burning face against the cool window. "I know, Edward."

The truth was that I _did _know that he was telling the complete truth, but somehow I was still a little angry with him. I couldn't understand why his best intentions always seemed to come off the wrong way, but I sighed, and decided to forget it all for today. After all, in two hours, I would be leaving him behind in Forks, and that would be hard enough on him without my being angry with him as well.

I turned to face him, and let him envelop me in his arms. "I know."

He smiled into my shoulder. "I love you infinitely."

I gazed over his shoulder blankly at the wall behind him. "Love you too."

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There was something about airports and all the people bustling about importantly that always put a nervous excitement in my stomach. The whooshing planes preparing for takeoff, the infinite number of destinations, the tourists with their colorful bags and wide eyes: it was all so thrilling. Something about _flying_, being suspended in mid-air in a huge metal bird, and soaring over land and water, heading to some distant place, was all so nerve-wracking and breathtaking at the same time. I loved to fly.

The only plane ride I remember dreading and thoroughly loathing was the trip to Forks, when I had grieved over leaving sunny Phoenix for this damp and virtually non-existent town.

I checked the flashing board again; the plane was due to board in thirty minutes.

Edward sat tranquilly on a seat in front of me in the waiting area, reading a newspaper as I drew his concentrated face on my sketchpad. I shaded his hair as he turned a page calmly; it didn't seem to bother either of us that the rest of his family still had not arrived. After five minutes of fruitless sketching that did Edward no justice, my eyes drifted upwards as a group of graceful people drifted towards us.

Alice reached us first.

"Bella!" She sighed, hugging me desperately. I patted her back in an odd comforting manner, not understanding the dramatics.

"Alice…"

She peeled herself off of me and held me firmly at an arm's distance. There was something wrong in her face; she looked at me as if she had seen death.

"Alice?" I inquired, "What-?"

"I need to talk to you." She said through clenched teeth, evidently trying not to attract her family's attention. "Alone."

She hurried me off to side, behind a stand selling Washington souvenirs, and I looked at her expectantly. Alice examined me worriedly, and ran a small hand through her hair.

"You love me, right?"

"Alice," I said shocked, "you know I do. Of course, yes."

"Then," She sighed, "you would never ever go anywhere or do anything stupid without telling me first, right?"

I glanced worriedly at the Cullens, sensing Edward's eyes. I pulled Alice further behind the stand for additional concealment.

"Alice, what's this about?"

"Bella," She said, in a tone of desperation, "I had a vision. It wasn't like anything I've seen before. Something…something is going to change. Drastically. I don't know what, I couldn't tell, but something is going to happen to us…to you. For some reason, I get the premonition that I'm going to lose you soon. That Edward's going to lose you."

"Alice," I whispered hurriedly, "What did you see? Exactly?"

She groaned, and rubbed her eyes in exasperation. "I- I don't know. I told you, Bella, I couldn't see anything for sure. It was so confusing… all I know for certain is that something is going to change and that we may lose you because of it. I don't mean you're going to die, Bella…I just feel like you'll leave me…Edward."

I took Alice's hand reassuringly. "I won't leave you, Alice, ever. You're probably just worrying about Victoria and us going away…because other than Paris, I'm not going anywhere. I'll always stay with you. And as for something changing…it might just be the fact that you'll finally be able to kill Victoria now. Don't over think it, okay?"

She looked like she wanted to believe me, but something seemed to be holding her back. "Alright, Bella, I'll take your word for it."

"Good," I smiled.

We walked back to the family, Alice pretending to wipe fake tears of an emotional goodbye, as I said my own goodbyes to Esme, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper.

"Be safe, Bella." Esme said, pulling out of our hug.

"I will," I promised, "You know me, I always stay _far _from trouble."

She laughed in irony as I hugged Alice again, and in the noise of the commotion, Alice whispered in my ear, too low for any of the others to hear.

"What I told you, Bella, will do well to stay between us."

I squeezed her arm, to acknowledge that I agreed, and she kissed my cheek, pulling away and smiling as though nothing had been said. I turned, with finality, to Edward. He eyed Alice suspiciously, and realizing that she was trying to conceal her thoughts, I pulled him away to distract him and say our final farewell.

Clearly diverted in his attention, Edward wrapped his arms tightly around me, whispering a long, drawling goodbye that I barely heard. I caught eyes with Alice frantically over his shoulder, and like fiends, we looked away hurriedly as though hiding more than a simple conversation between friends.

"…take care of yourself, and please listen to Carlisle. I'll call you tomorrow. I love you more than the world, Bella, have a safe-"

I kissed his cheek quickly, cutting him off. "Goodbye, Edward. I love you."

He smiled, a little mollified in my assurance of love. "Goodbye, Bella."

I turned to pick up my bag once had Edward released me, but before I could wrap my fingers around the strap, another hand had easily lifted it away. Looking upwards, I noticed for the first time, Carlisle, smiling serenely and fondly at me. It placated me to know that I would at least have good company on this trip, if nothing else.

"Hello, Bella," He said warmly. His voice was familiar, like an old friend. I smiled affectionately at him.

"Carlisle," I greeted.

He shifted both our belongings to one hand easily, saying his own quiet goodbye to Edward, and then offered me his free arm. "I daresay we should board now. I think it's time we say goodbye to Forks."

I looked at Edward once more with something like reassurance in my expression, then wound my arm around Carlisle's and looked into his excited eyes, realizing that these next few weeks seemed to be appearing brighter and brighter.

"And time to say hello to a new adventure." I whispered excitedly, soft enough for only Carlisle's ears.

Carlisle grinned at the prospect of it, and the both of us, daring not to look back on what, or rather, who, we were leaving behind, marched forwards with hopes and anticipation of what we would find once we arrived in the city of Paris.

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	3. Golden Lights

**A/N: Don't hurt me! I am so sorry for the wait! Quite honestly, updating slipped my mind. I'll try harder to update faster!**

**By the way, the Hotel de Crillon is a real hotel in Paris. I highly suggest you go to the official website and look at the photos. It's gorgeous. I would LOVE to visit. Lucky Bella!**

**Hope you all enjoy the chapter! :)**

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"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."  
- Judy Garland

Chapter Three

Golden Lights

There were colors. Bright, dancing splotches, flying over my eyelids.

My eyes followed them as they zoomed past; first red, then yellow, green, then blue. They were hopping past too fast for me to keep track of, blurry and shapeless. They were mesmerizing, spellbinding. I had to know what they were. The floating orbs of colored light continued to fly past. I tried to move my hand towards them, wanting to catch the mysterious, dancing colors within my fist, but my arm was quite stiff and I couldn't move it. It was as though a heavy weight lay upon it, rendering it useless.

It took me a minute to realize that the heavy weight was me. And it took me a whole minute more to realize that I had fallen asleep awkwardly atop my arm, explaining why it felt so stiff and tingly and why I was stifling a yawn.

Slowly, blearily, I pulled my eyelids open.

I was in a car, and I was curled upon the passenger seat facing the window. Somehow, there was a secure seatbelt wrapped around me and a heavy black coat had been draped over me like a blanket. I looked down at it, wondering how in the world it had been strewn across me, when a familiar red light passed over my arm.

I lifted my head and looked out the window, finally finding the source of the dancing lights. I barely held in a gasp of bewilderment.

Paris in the nighttime was more beautiful that I could describe. I gaped out the window, pressing a pale hand to the cool glass, wanting to touch Paris, wanting to feel Paris. There were slick cars riding past, the billowing smoke of cigars swirling from the windows. There seemed to be lights absolutely everywhere, hanging from the overpass, drifting off the numerous signs. Even the people seemed to be alighted; there was an unmistakable glow in their faces that could never be found in the inhabitants of Forks.

Something else hung in the air as well; romance and mystery and the unmistakable air of adventure. The moon hung lowly in a perfect crescent, glowing and smiling. The night was dense and black but I was simply transparent with joy.

And as if all could not be more perfect in that moment, over the tops of buildings and streetlights, I could see the tip of a gleaming picture from my dreams: the Eiffel Tower.

I let out an excited breath and fogged the glass. There was a low chuckle and I turned, genuinely surprised to find I was not alone in my exhilaration.

Carlisle smiled at me knowingly, his hands perched lazily upon the steering wheel. "Good morning, Bella. Or rather, good evening."

I grimaced, embarrassed. Looking around awkwardly in the car, I said the first thing that came to my head. "How did I…?"

He laughed; it was a ringing, bell tone laugh. "I woke you after we landed," He explained, "but you had been quite… incapacitated. I helped you to the car and you fell asleep again right away. I hope you don't mind that I let you sleep, Bella. I know you probably wanted to see all these sights right away, but you were just so tired. I didn't have the heart to wake you."

He looked genuinely worried that I would be upset about this. I mustered a convincing smile and shook my head.

"Of course not, Carlisle."

He looked convinced. I turned to marvel out the window again. There was a silent moment in the car, thick with our universal excitement, before Carlisle spoke again.

"Isn't it beautiful?"

I didn't have to ask what he meant. I nodded, keeping my eyes glued to the sights before me. I cracked the window and let the cool breeze wash over my warm face.

"Better than I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams. The books I've read…pictures I've seen…they just can't-"

"-compare." Carlisle finished, equally entranced.

I turned in my seat to look at him. His eyes, though observing the road, flickered over each aspect of our surroundings, taking it all in. He was serene, but he exuded excitement. His face was composed yet thoughtful, so I knew he was thinking hard. I only wished I knew exactly what went on inside of his mind. Sometimes he was just like a closed book: there was one solid cover, but inside, it was filled with thoughts and words and feelings that were so hard to find unless you read every letter.

Naturally, being a bookworm, I longed to read that secretive, closed-off book. But I could never seem to get my hands on it.

"Carlisle," I inquired, finally resisting the tempting sights outside the window and commanding his undivided attention, "Make me a promise."

His brow lifted slightly. "A promise?"

"Yes," I nodded, fiercely. "One, solid promise. You have to keep it, fulfill it to its extent."

He bit back a smile at my childish request. "What would you like me to promise you, Bella?"

I sighed and looked out the front window, once again absorbing myself in the lights, letting them blind me. "Adventures. We have to have adventures."

"What sort of adventures?" I could tell by his tone of voice that he wasn't mocking me. He seemed as absorbed into the idea as I was.

"This is Paris, Carlisle. Who knows what sorts of adventures await us behind each corner? I want to do everything I possibly can while we're here. I don't want to miss one single thing. Not one."

He nodded slowly. "Adventures…" He repeated.

I bit my lip and waited for his response. Carlisle seemed to be thinking again.

"I like the sound of that, Bella. Adventures seem like a plausible idea."

I held out my pinky finger childishly but looked at him quite seriously. "Repeat after me then. I, Carlisle, do solemnly swear to Bella Swan that we will share the most exciting, enthralling, crazy adventures we can possibly find while here in Paris."

Carlisle grinned in amusement, but clasped his pinky around mine and repeated each of my words with conviction and perfection. I pulled my hand away, satisfied.

I sighed as we passed through a tunnel, not particularly enjoying the blockage of my view.

We continued to drive along the winding roads, with me marveling in each sight that passed and Carlisle particularly enjoying my excitement, until we finally began to approach a building. From what I could see, it was palace-like, illuminated by the numerous windows that lined the exterior and glowed in golden light. Paris continued to amaze me. I felt my jaw slack in fascination as Carlisle drove closer to the palace, and as we closed the distance, it seemed to grow more magnificent.

From a closer perspective I could see the intricate fountain perched in it's courtyard, the engravings on the stone building, each pillar and each lamp post; they all exuded brilliance. This had to be where the Queen lived. I was sure of it.

Carlisle turned the car and we drove straight up to the front doors. I looked at him, confused.

"What is this place?"

Carlisle smiled, showing all his teeth. "Bella…this is our hotel."

Before I could recover from the shock of this revelation, a gloved hand was pulling open my door and escorting me out of the car. The valet was a handsome, smart-looking man, probably in his twenties. My words stuck in my throat as he smiled heartily at me, bowing his head in salute.

"Bienvenue à l'hôtel de Crillon, mademoiselle. Puis-je vous aider dans vos sacs?"

I stared at him dumbly, lost in the flurry of his words and his growing smile. I nodded my head randomly pretending to understand. Carlisle pulled himself out of the car and walked over, amused by my lack of bilingualism.

The valet looked at Carlisle for help when he did not receive an answer from me, and Carlisle, laughing slightly, addressed the matter in rapid French.

I watched amazed. The effect he had on people was contagious; the valet was all smiles as he threw a furtive glance at me and chuckled.

"Ah," He said in a heavy French accent, "she iz American, that one."

Carlisle smiled at me fondly and said something else, causing the valet to laugh harder. My cheeks heated in embarrassment. I picked at my nails as they conversed.

The valet pulled a golden cart from inside and began to load our bags onto it. Another smiling bellhop appeared from nowhere and pushed the cart inside the hotel as Carlisle passed the valet (whose named turned out to be Marc) the car keys. They said goodbye and Carlisle turned to me.

My cheeks must've still been red because Carlisle placed a reassuring hand on my back as he led me inside.

"Don't be too embarrassed, Bella, French people laugh at anything. Especially Americans."

I couldn't respond because as soon as we entered through the doors, more beauty bombarded me. The front foyer was gorgeous, to say the least. The recurring theme of gold and luxury was everywhere. The floor was a sparkling golden and black checkered pattern, and there were chandeliers and mahogany furniture placed everywhere tastefully. People bustled about despite the late hour; employees in suits, women in fur coats, harassed bellhops. I smiled at Carlisle.

"This can't be real. I can't possibly be staying in a place like _this_."

"Bella," Carlisle chuckled, "We've only just stepped through the door and you're mesmerized already. I guarantee that this will be least of the beauty Paris has to offer."

My eyes glowed. Carlisle, sensing my vulnerability to be distracted, took my hand and led me to the check-in counter. There was more fast French exchanged and I zoned out for a few minutes until the check-in lady attempted some English.

"Iz she wiz you, Monsieur Cullen?" She eyed me and grinned toothily. I smiled apprehensively.

"Yes, she is. This is Bella."

The lady smiled mischievously at us while getting our suite key ready. I could swear she even winked at me and waggled her eyebrows at Carlisle. I was confused.

"Well," She announced significantly while giving Carlisle the key to the room, "I 'ope you two 'ave fun!"

Laughing, she slinked away into the back room. I looked up at Carlisle for some explanation.

"What was that all about? The winking and the laughing…" I trailed off, perplexed.

Carlisle cleared his throat and smiled at me embarrassed. I couldn't understand it. Then, his eyes trailed to our joined hands, then back at me. It finally clicked.

"Oh… she thought we…oh. I suppose it _does _sort of seem that way." I laughed awkwardly. Carlisle's embarrassment passed, and then he seemed as unruffled as ever, despite the woman's assumption of our…status. But we weren't like that, we both knew it, and that should've been enough.

But somehow the check-in lady's actions struck a nerve with me. Her assumption of us being together didn't bother me as much as it should have. I think the tiredness was getting to me.

Carlisle slyly attempted to pull his hand away. I let it go, not wanting to but not wanting him to be uncomfortable either.

"So what floor are we on?" I asked cheerily, changing the topic.

Carlisle smiled gratefully. "Top floor."

"Top floor? Isn't that like…crazy expensive?" I eyed the golden elevators we walked towards apprehensively. This place must cost a fortune. The Cullens were flamboyant, I had to admit that.

"Not really." He shrugged offhandedly. I didn't believe him.

When we reached our suite, it suddenly came to me that we would be sharing one room. Sure, Carlisle didn't sleep so we wouldn't have to share a bed or anything, but it might still be a little awkward. I smiled sheepishly at him as he slid the card in and out, and then held the door open for me to go first.

I was floored. The room was…massive. There were beautiful red and golden couches taking up an expanse of the sitting room, which was lined with enormous windows, and under our feet, was a thick, velvety carpet and a pianoforte rested idly in the corner. My feet began to move under me as I drifted towards the bedroom, my eyes wider than ever. A large bed, double that of a king-size, was pushed up against a wall and draped in burgundy and gold linens. Beside that (and as I looked, my heart swelled) was a door to an expansive balcony.

Carlisle had followed me into the room and leaned against the doorframe watching me bounce in delight. I turned and ran to him in my joy, grabbing his arm, wanting to share this with someone. He smiled, amused.

Suddenly something dawned on me.

"I'm going to have to buy _a lot _of souvenirs. For Alice, Charlie, me…"

He chuckled, and something glinted in his eyes. Reaching to the night table, he plucked a rose out of the vase and tucked in behind my ear.

"That can be your first souvenir. A rose from Paris. Kind of cliché, isn't it?" He smiled and fixed my hair, pushing it behind my ear in order to see the rose clearly.

I touched the flower gingerly. "Not at all. It's perfect." I whispered.

Carlisle froze, his hand on my hair. Recovering, he retracted his hand and stepped back, noticing for the first time how close we were standing. He traipsed to the door and placed a hand on the handle, pausing to look at me.

"Have a good night then, Bella."

He closed the door and I heard his footsteps echo down the hall and then finally disappear. I turned to bed that was now my own.

Touching the rose, I knew that I would, indeed, have a _very _good night.


	4. Burden

**So an update. Finally, huh? I won't even apologize because nothing I say can make up for it. All I can do is hope you enjoy the chapter, and dont hold a grudge! A few things happened, which meant the extreme delay of this story: SCHOOL. My old computer crashed resulting in all the files for FF being deleted. And also, for a little while I lost the motivation behind this story. But it's not right of me to leave you guys hanging like that so I've decided to re-find (is that a word..) my motivation and continue FF for your reading pleasures. As always, curse me for taking so long on this, but please leave a review ;)

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You tell me where to go/And though I may leave to find it/  
I'll never let your head hit the bed/Without my hand behind it  
-"Your Body Is Wonderland" - John Mayer

Chapter Four

Burden

I hastily wiped at the chocolate smudged on my nose with my sleeve, but only proceeded to make the mess larger.

Carlisle was seated across from me, his fingers entwined beneath his chin, watching me intently. I caught his eye and for a moment we both were silent and still, before a slow smile formed on his face and we simultaneously erupted into a fit of laughter.

I wasn't even sure why it was so funny. I mean, to be honest, my daily blunders weren't something to be unexpected, but oddly, Carlisle and I found it so wholly amusing that I was wiping tears from my eyes almost immediately. I noticed, through our boisterous chuckles, that we had been laughing like this a lot lately.

I supposed that was the effect that Paris had on foreigners. The locals always seemed oblivious to all of the little things about the city that made us smile and stare in awe. They simply bustled importantly from place to place, taking little notice of anyone or anything but their personal agendas. I figured two things, that they must either be so used to the city everything was now boring to them, or they were just accustomed to the tourists. It had to be the latter. I couldn't understand how someone could think Paris was unremarkable; it was hard enough for me to gaze at any sight without gaping like an idiot. The city had the admirable talent of upholding charm and a quaint home-y feeling while at the same time managing to boast change and also establish itself as a real contender in fashion, entertainment, and of course, food.

Our laughter subsided and Carlisle shook his head gently. "Oh dear, Bella."

He reached over with his napkin in hand and gently wiped off what I had missed from my nose.

"It's not my fault," I stated matter-of-factly, "This thing is too good. I couldn't control myself if I tried." I took another indulgent bite. "What is it called again?"

"A profiterole, Bella," He said patiently, "And you're drizzling chocolate on your shirt again."

I swallowed and smiled at him sheepishly. "Well, it's _good_. Really good."

"I'm glad you approve." He smiled.

I went back to eating my pastry and sighed appreciatively at the warm, sunny weather; it was an enjoyable contrast to gloomy Forks. We were seated on the bistro's terrace, and the afternoon sun basked my back, warming my bones, but did not glare into my eyes, offering a welcome chance to watch the bustling scenes before me. It was all quite cozy, to say the least.

I glanced around at the other tables arranged about the patio and was amazed, once again, at just how fast and fluently French people spoke. The language sounded harsh yet soothing to the ears at the same time. Two ladies at an adjacent table were in a deep discussion, hunched over their cappuccino mugs. The conversation was punctuated frequently by each taking turns to gasp loudly and exclaim "Mon Dieu!". I regretted not taking French in school now, it would be interesting to eavesdrop on that conversation.

Carlisle had picked up an abandoned newspaper and had been shuffling through it peaceably beside me, before abruptly stopping to read an article near the end. I saw his eyes tense suddenly as he absorbed the information, and they flew down the page to fast for me to see. I finished the rest of the profiterole and wiped my mouth before leaning over to see what had caught his attention.

One glance showed me that the newspaper was, of course, in French, but the photo was enough to make me stare.

"What's the article about?" I asked, pointing to the photo of the bloody hiker's jacket.

"A hiker's gone missing." Carlisle answered distractedly, still reading the article, "They could only find the jacket he had been wearing that morning. Police are calling it-"

"An animal attack." I finished robotically, my stomach churning. I felt like I had heard this story before.

_Edward stepped out of the Volvo and approached Carlisle worriedly. I watched the stretcher being loaded into the ambulance while following behind him. The lifeless body had been covered in a simple white sheet. I thought I could see an pale foot dangling over the edge of the stretcher before a paramedic slammed the doors closed._

"_Carlisle, what's going on?" Edward asked tensely._

_Carlisle sighed as if the words caused him actual physical pain. "Waylon Forge was found in a boat out near his place, I just examined the body."_

"_He died?" I asked blankly, refusing to let the words to sink in. "How?"_

_Carlisle gave Edward a significant look and I felt him tense beside me. _

"_Animal attack." _

"I thought we'd left this stuff behind in Forks." I said quietly.

"Unfortunately Bella," Carlisle said gravely, "The threat is everywhere. Vampires are everywhere." He added in a low whisper.

I frowned and leaned back in my chair, swirling the access chocolate in my dish with my finger.

Carlisle reached over and squeezed my free hand. "Bella," He said softly, "Don't worry about this. I know it really must seem like this burden is following you everywhere, but believe me, this kind of thing has been happening for a really long time. You've only just started noticing it now that you're more…attune to it."

"I know. But still. That hiker."

"The vampire responsible will leave a body behind. That way the hiker's family can have a respectable farewell."

"What's this?" I said teasingly, feeling my mood slightly pick up again, "Vampires have etiquette now?"

"French vampires do." He replied seriously. I pulled a smirk and bit back a chuckle.

"They do, do they? I'm not so sure that attacking a defenceless hiker could classify as etiquette."

"They do." He insisted, "I lived here for a brief time after leaving the Volturi. It was when I had begun my studies in medicine that was I first met the French vampires, or as they like to call themselves, '_Sauvages'_. Savages." He rolled his eyes in good humor.

"Okay." I said, indicating for him to continue.

"They were educated." He went on, "And more like humans than any of the others I had met. Quite different from the Italians, I must say. But they couldn't be called savages, really. Yes, they killed humans for their food…but they shared some unwritten code of etiquette amongst themselves in regards to hunting. Each death had to be as painless and swift as possible for the human, and once the vampire had taken the blood, the body would be left untouched to be reclaimed by the families of their victims. From what I learned, it was a very old tradition."

"But why would they do that?" I asked, confused. "I mean, not that that's not _good_ or anything, but why would they want to treat humans so reverently? They're stronger _and_ more powerful than us. Most vampires would want to take advantage of that."

"And so you see, Bella," Carlisle smiled, "Just how different American and French values are. Vampire values, anyway. The French respect what they are and most importantly, what they came from. They were all human once too. It's as simple as that. Which makes their name even more ironic," He pondered thoughtfully, "I think they probably want to seem more threatening than they actually are. For their protection."

I was amazed. These French vampires sounded like they were more than just the mindless killers I knew all vampires, except the Cullens, to be. In fact, they reminded me exactly of the Cullens in the way that they valued human life. I suddenly felt less agonized about the hiker's death. His family would at least have some peace of mind at the end of it all. And if what Carlisle had said was true, then it would be an painless end for him as well.

"I guess I can breathe a little easier now. At least if a vampire attacks me here, they won't be like James. Or Victoria." I laughed lightly.

Carlisle's smile faded. I could sense his unease about the lingering threat of our redheaded friend. "The trouble is, vampires like Victoria and James resemble what the majority of vampires value. Blood, survival…nothing else. The _Sauvage_ or the Cullen way of life isn't so openly adopted."

I hastily changed the subject. "Do you remember any of them, then? The French vampires?"

Carlisle's face brightened as he smiled, suddenly remembering. "I do. There were two young women, Anneliese and Solenne, who were closest to me. Solenne was roughly the same age as me, she was also twenty-three when she was turned, but she was changed a year before me. Anneliese was about a year and a half old when I met her. I remember the bright red was almost completely gone from her eyes at that point, which meant she was almost past the newborn stage. They were closer to maroon. Solenne was teaching her the _Sauvage _way of life as a vampire."

I leaned forwards, genuinely interested. "Where did you meet?"

"Remember how I told you that the _Sauvages _valued education? They were also taking night classes at the same university I was. They knew what I was the moment I set foot into the class and were curious about the color of my eyes. We began to talk and they were genuinely interested in my way of life, instead of disgusted, like the Volturi had been. I soon met the others and realized that had I not adopted vegetarianism," He said chuckling, "I'd have preferred their philosophy on Vampirism above anything else."

"Did you keep in touch with them?"

"Sadly, no. I haven't heard from either since leaving Paris. " He admitted ashamedly. "But, that was a long time ago. Centuries."

"Well, maybe we can find them." I said brightly, "That way, you can see Anneliese and Solenne again."

Carlisle smiled genuinely up at me and I felt the same kind of warming joy I knew he was feeling. "That sounds great." He was beaming.

"Well, where do we start?" I asked, business-like, "Do you have an old address, or anything?"

"No. The _Sauvages _never liked to stay in one place too long." He said shaking his head, "But I do remember that Solenne was registered at the university as Adelais Blanche. And Anneliese had taken the same last name as well. They looked passably alike so they posed as sisters."

"That's a good place to start," I said reassuringly. "We can try and find some of the old university records, if we can."

Carlisle nodded. It made me happy to see him so excited at the prospect of this and I promised myself I would help him find Anneliese and Solenne no matter what it took. His excited smile was nervous at the same time, anticipating the reunion with his old friends. He reached over and squeezed my hand.

"Thank you, Bella."

The intensity of his gaze made me avert my eyes and I hurriedly said, "It's no problem." I pushed my hair behind my ears and straightened my shirt. "We should pay and get out of here, I don't like the way that waitress is making eyes at you."

And sure enough, the staring waitress fumbled her notepad and blushed when Carlisle turned around in his seat and looked her way. He chuckled good naturedly back at me and dropped a wad of cash on the table before taking my arm and leading me out onto the bustling street.

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Carlisle was busy on the phone and I was playing Scrabble with myself on the floor when the door knocked that evening.

Carlisle poked his head out from behind the bathroom door, where he had been conducting a low, whispered conversation that I was trying my hardest not to eavesdrop on, and looked towards the sound of the knock. I pulled myself off the floor, and waved him back into the bathroom, indicating that I'd answer it.

I heard the bathroom door click and the low whispering started again, but it sound agitated now. I tired to push my curious thoughts away and swung the front door open to reveal a smartly dressed hotel worker. He wore a jacket of some shiny, pleated gold fabric with the hotel's name embroidered on the left breast pocket.

When he saw me, he bowed slightly, and sprang up again, beaming. "Bon soir, mademoiselle. Comment est votre soirée?"

I would have been less pathetic had we gone to Spain. At least I knew a few broken words of Spanish from my years of American schooling. French, however, was a completely different story. The only French word I'd picked up on was "oui", and even that I spelled as "we".

"Um…oui?" I asked hopefully.

The worker threw his head back and barked with laughter. "Oh, you are so funny, American girl," He replied in a thick accent, "I only asked 'ow you're evening iz going!"

I couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. "You do know English!" I accused him playfully, "You wanted to hear me embarrass myself, didn't you?"

He laughed harder, if it was even possible. No one had ever thought I was this funny before. Not even Renee laughed at my jokes. She told me they 'lacked character'. I realized now that she was telling me politely that I was not, under any circumstance, funny. I didn't take offense from it, after all, it was true.

"Enjoying yourself, are you?" I teased, leaning against the door frame.

The hotel worker was still doubled up laughing at me before he suddenly remembered why he was here. He straightened himself up and wiped the tears from his eyes with his jacket sleeve.

"Yes, mademoiselle. So. Yes." He cleared his throat, "I 'ave come to remind you and monsieur Cullen of your dinner reservations tonight. Zey are at 'alf past eight at L'Obé. Ze table you 'ave chozen iz high demand, so we ask zat you are kindly on time."

I tried not to look surprised. Carlisle hadn't mentioned any sort of dinner reservations. I had figured I would just order room service for dinner or something, seeing as Carlisle didn't eat, and I wouldn't to put him in the position to take to me out to dinner and spend even more money on me. I smiled lightly regardless, feigning no surprise; it was nice of him to plan this, even though he would be participating to the bare minimum, and that in itself would be awkward enough. How exactly do you make reservations at a high demand restaurant and leave with only one person haven eaten? I nodded at the worker.

"Thank you, we will be there at eight-thirty then."

He smiled and teasingly said, "Oui," before bowing again and making his way down the hall.

I smiled at his retreating figure and closed the door, resolving to first find Carlisle and thank him right away. I traipsed to the bathroom door, left slightly ajar, and gently pushed it open, hoping he'd be finished on the phone by now. I peeked inside, smiling, and saw that Carlisle was sitting with one leg up on the bathtub ledge, and one hand pressing the phone to his ear, the other pulling agitatedly at the ends of his hair. He was frowning.

I quietly retreated back out into the hall but not without hearing a few of his words.

"I'm half way across the world. What do you want me to do?" His voice was hard and steely.

He paused to listen to the reply.

"Don't blame this on me. Edward needed my help, how could I refuse him that? You encouraged this."

Another pause. Then he laughed. Only, it wasn't the kind of laugh I was used to. It was oddly constricted and biting.

"I don't see how this is my fault. If you wanted to work anything out, you shouldn't have let me go."

Pause.

"And then what would Edward have done? Leave Bella in danger? You know as well as I that this is her safest option considering the circumstances."

Then, the longest pause yet. Carlisle scoffed.

"Fine, if that's how you see it. Then yes, you know what, you're right. Maybe I do care more about Bella than you. Now remember, those words came out of _your _mouth."

I froze. Whoever was on the phone with Carlisle was fighting with him about me. I gulped hard. My throat was suddenly dry. I felt too sick to listen to more but I couldn't pull myself away from the door. I stayed frozen, feeling like an intruder yet somehow oddly entitled to knowing what was being said about me.

"This is the problem. You blame _me_ for everything. This wasn't my idea. You act like I planned this, like I suggested it. You are just as much to blame here. You need to understand that."

He paused again.

"Yes, of course I do. Of course I _want _to be here. Bella's safety is my number one priority. Nothing comes before her."

I can almost hear the voice on the other end. _Nothing at all?_

"Nothing at all." He affirmed. A pause again.

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have dinner reservations and Bella and I can't miss them."

Now my ears were straining to hear the final words of the caller's sentence.

_Fine. I love you. I'll call you later tonight. _I could barely make out the soft words.

Carlisle sighed brokenly.

"Do me a favor and don't, Esme."

I'm sure I didn't start breathing again until I heard Carlisle click the phone off, and his footsteps beginning to approach the door. Thinking of nothing but how much I didn't want him to know what I overheard, I scurried back to the living room and pretended to occupy myself with cleaning up the Scrabble pieces.

Carlisle took a step into the room barely a moment later. I kept my head bowed over the game board and continued to fiddle with the letters. The ones in my hand spelled L-I-E. How appropriate.

"A hotel worker came by to remind of us some reservations." I said offhandedly, clutching the letters so hard that the corners dug into my skin.. "They're at eight thirty."

"Yes, sorry I forgot to mention it." He said cheerfully. I nearly dropped the game pieces in my hands when I heard how normal his voice sounded. It was as though nothing had transpired in the bathroom but a peaceful phone conversation.

I suddenly felt like vomiting, and I didn't know why.

"That's okay."

Carlisle paused. "Are you all right, Bella? You sound-"

"I'm fine," I say a little too quickly, shooting a smile at him that I just knew was terribly unconvincing. He looked a little unsure but decided, evidently, to drop it. I was relieved.

"I think I'm going to take a bath and then get ready for dinner, okay?"

Carlisle nodded and I started towards my room. Then, I stopped in an awkward half-step and turned around to face him. "Thanks for making dinner plans, Carlisle. You know you didn't have to."

He smiled again. "Yes, but I _wanted_ to."

"Well," I said unsurely, "Thanks for that."

He shook his head and chuckled, before turning on the television to the news. I slinked away into my bedroom, and pulled the doors closed with a sigh.

I braced myself against the strong wood for a few moments and tried to pull myself together. A few deep breaths seem to calm me down and I ventured forward a few steps. Realizing that I no longer felt dizzy, I proceeded to the bathroom to fill my tub.

Only once I was submerged wholly in the scalding water did I finally let myself think back to Carlisle's unsettling phone conversation. It made me shiver even in the burning water to know that he had been fighting with his wife. He had sounded so hostile…so frustrated and hopeless. The person in that bathroom was so unlike the Carlisle I knew, it was sickening.

It made me shiver even worse to have to accept that the two of them had been arguing about _me._

With a low moan and seeking temporary escape from my thoughts, I sucked in a breath and let my head slide under the water, just wishing, hoping, to drown all these worries away.

And maybe myself too, if I was lucky.

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**Review, loves?**


	5. In The Open

**A/N: New chapter, yay! I just want to say thank you to everyone who reviewed. Really, you are all way too kind. Each one is appreciated greatly. Love you all. Also, I would have had this chapter up way sooner except fanfiction was having some problems and I wasn't able to update/edit any of my Twilight stories. I don't know why :/ Sorry about that!  
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Well, I've been afraid of changing/  
Cause I've built my life around you/  
But time makes us bolder/ children get older/  
I'm getting older too  
- "Landslide" by Dixie Chicks

Chapter Five

In The Open

Carlisle and Esme's phone conversation haunted me for the next few days, always resurfacing when I thought I had finally put it past me.

Though Carlisle and I kept relatively busy and there were a myriad of sights and experiences to keep me preoccupied, the memory of that conversation never failed to unsettle me. Only yesterday we had visited the Louvre, a magnificent art museum in central Paris, and were having a perfectly good time before my thoughts came in for the ambush. I passed it off as a headache (which, in all honesty, wasn't far from the truth) and we went back to the hotel. I had a feeling Carlisle was not at all convinced but he kept silent, for my sake.

I felt awful knowing I was making this trip even harder on him than it already was. The least I could do to repay him for his tolerance of me, though I could tell it was waning, was to be good company.

I gathered my resolve, picking myself up off the couch, and walked to the room's balcony, where I knew Carlisle had been since we'd got back from lunch this afternoon. I slid the glass door open, letting a burst of cool Paris air permeate the room and stepped barefoot onto the marble tiling.

Carlisle was resting his arms on the balcony railing, gazing out at the city skyline. Our room really had a striking view of Paris; the old and new buildings clustered along winding roads had the beauty and elegance that one would think only a painter's hand could capture. The sounds of the city and it's people, preparing for another night, swirled against the wind and the smell of baking bread and perfume carried above the rooftops. The sight of the city against Carlisle's inhumanly beautiful figure almost made me retreat back to the room for my sketchpad, but I remembered I had a pressing reason to be here.

I sidled up to him in silence, placing my hands on the railing in a motion similar to his. I was silent, desperately concocting some apology or reasoning for my behaviour but Carlisle took the burden of speaking first off of me.

"How's your headache?"

I was confused for a moment, before I remembered my lie.

"Oh…um, fine."

I almost slapped myself across the face. I had come out here to offer some sort of sentimental apology and this was all I could come up with. Typical.

"No, actually, I'm not fine." I said quickly, recovering from my prior ineptitude. Carlisle turned his head to look at me. I took a deep breath. "There's something that's kind of been bothering me."

I knew this was it. I was going to tell him that I had overheard, rather, eavesdropped on his and Esme's conversation. That the fact that they'd been arguing over me specifically had been plaguing my every thought. I prepared a scrambled speech in my brain and my palms were ra[idly becoming sweaty and sliding along the metal railing. I opened my mouth to start but his response threw off my nerve.

"To be honest, there's something that's bothering me as well, Bella."

I stopped my train of thought abruptly. "What's that?"

Was he going to confide in me about Esme? I anchored my hands on the railing harder to get a firm grip. My heart beat loudly in my ears.

"I called back home," He said, indicating the cell phone in his hand that I had not seen at first. "And there's a problem."

I attempted to swallow down the hard lump in my throat. What had Esme said now? Things must have been getting worse for I could see Carlisle was visibly stressed; his forehead was creased and his eyes were tightened, weighing my reaction to this piece of news. I tried to stay visibly calm, but I was not sure how well I was faring.

"And?" I prompted.

"Bella…they still haven't caught Victoria." He sighed, letting the words rush out. "They were close yesterday, very close, but she managed to slip past them again."

He was very still, analysing my face. In all truth and honesty, I had forgotten about Victoria. The only thing that triggered my current and visible state of alarm was that Carlisle's news had absolutely nothing to do with Esme, meaning that I would have to be the one to bring it up. This was what panicked me most of all.

"Don't worry, Bella," He said suddenly, noticing my panic and mistaking it for a reaction to Victoria's evasion, "They _will_ find her. And once they deal with her, we can go home again. I promise you, Bella, I swear it."

I shook my head slightly, trying to clear it. I turned away, not considering any of Carlisle's words, but my own approach as to how I was going to bring up the Esme problem now. Was it even my business? I wondered whether I could just ignore that I had said anything in the first place, but I knew Carlisle would not let it go. I could hear him coming up behind me. He placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Bella," He said gently, "Listen to me."

I decided to turn back around to face him. His expression was, as always, sincere.

"You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Not when you're here. Not when you're with me. If I ever felt that you were in danger, or your life was compromised, I would do everything in my power and ability to protect you. Do you understand me?"

I nodded.

"I hope you realize how much you mean to me. To all of us. Your safety is never something that's taken lightly, I promise. So you have nothing to worry about. Ever. Not as long as you have us, Bella."

He smiled gently. I couldn't help but smile back. The weight of these promises burdened me moreso than they comforted me but I would never let him know that.

I simply responded with a pitiful, "Thank you."

He watched me closely still and evidently saw the worry in my eyes remain so he pulled me into his chest, letting me wrap my arms around his torso. A hand gently stroked my hair and I closed my eyes.

Then the words came up from inside me, unexpectedly.

"I heard you on the phone with Esme, Carlisle."

His hand stopped. I kept my eyes shut.

"I was talking to Jasper, Bella." He said slowly, "He's the one who told me about Victoria."

I knew he knew what I meant. I could hear it in his voice, which was, for once, shaky.

I didn't answer him. I wanted him to be the first to do something; speak, walk away, yell, anything. I was so out of my place right now, bringing this up, so I was leaving it up to him to continue the conversation. I waited.

He grasped my shoulders and slowly pulled me off him. Carlisle peered into my eyes, looking to see whether I truly knew what he had tried to hide from me. Evidently, he found his answer because he responded with a deep sigh.

"I want to show you something." He said abruptly.

Carlisle took my hand and led me to the edge of the balcony. I could see all the way to the ground from here. I had never been afraid of heights, but this drop was definitely daunting. I looked up at him, anxiously waiting to see what he'd wanted to show me.

He dropped my hand and stepped closer to the wall.

"Edward and you have climbed trees before. It will be exactly the same thing." He explained.

I understood then what he wanted me to do. I lifted my arms soundly and wrapped them around his neck, and then curled my legs around his hips. I closed my eyes and felt Carlisle leave the safety of the balcony and scale the wall, steadily climbing higher.

Then, all too quickly, he stopped. "Okay, climb down now. Careful."

I opened my eyes. We were on the roof of the hotel. Carefully, I unwrapped myself from around him and found a sturdy place to plant my feet. The roof of the building was comprised of wide, flat strip of granite running through the middle, and on each side it slanted steeply. Carlisle had stopped us on the flat stone, so there was no immediate danger of falling. Still, I felt unsure, so when I shakily sat beside him on the ledge, Carlisle wrapped a firm arm around me.

"I won't let you fall," He said, smiling at my strained expression.

"I know you won't. Edward would kill you."

He merely chuckled.

"It's beautiful up here." I breathed, "You can see for miles."

He merely nodded his assent. We were silent for a few long minutes before I could no longer bear the awkward tension. I cleared my throat.

"So."

"So." He agreed.

He wasn't being very helpful. I tried to incite him to speak again. I decided to start with something simple; a fact.

"I've never heard you two fight before."

"I never thought we would, to be honest." He said quietly.

The wind was cooler up here. Carlisle pulled his jacket off, moving as little as possible so he wouldn't have to take his arm out from around me, and draped it over my shoulders. I said a quiet thanks.

"You know," I said truthfully, "It was a little bit unsettling to me. I know that you were, you know, fighting because of me. I'm sorry."

He nodded and simply said, "No need to be. Things have been deteriorating either way."

I sat quietly and let his strained whisper reverberate in my head until he decided to speak again.

"I've just been with her for so long. Lately it seems like we're not actually _together_… just roommates unceremoniously thrust together." He laughed humourlessly.

"So," I said quietly, "You've been fighting for a while then."

"Not fighting exactly. Just…drifting. Realizing we want different things out of life." His eyebrows contracted, as if he himself wasn't following along. "It's hard to explain."

I nodded. Carlisle gazed out at the endless sky, which was now turning a pale pink with the imminent setting of the sun. I sat quietly beside him, pulling the jacket closer around me, and wondered how two people like Esme and Carlisle could so convincingly seem to be in love, when really, they were falling out of it. When Edward and I fought, everyone would know. We were surly and unpleasant at best. But Carlisle never seemed to possess that nature; he never even had a hair out of place as far as I knew.

Maybe his type of suffering was different then. Maybe the quiet and reserved nature he had just masked the worry and grief raging inside. I had never paid attention before, but I realized now that Carlisle was not a man of outright emotion. And in that sense, he and Edward were polar opposites. Edward was dramatic, the stunt in Italy proved that, but Carlisle was not prone to creating a spectacle out of his grief. Even in the most stressful situation, he could will himself to keep a straight head. It was not surprising that I had not sensed the turmoil in his and Esme's relationship.

"Do you, well…do you still…" I started clumsily, trying to restart the conversation.

His eyes were still trained on the sky, docile and vacant. I let myself trail off, hoping he'd been so immersed in his own thoughts that he hadn't heard mine.

"Love her?" He murmured quietly, letting his gaze drift back to me, and his thoughts to our conversation. I shrugged embarrassedly and looked appropriately abashed. I couldn't bear to see his expression so I looked down at his hand, curled around my waist.

"Of course, I do, very much."

For some reason, this weighed on me heavily.

"But," He continued quickly, "You see, Bella, and this may be hard to understand, but once you've spent such a long time with a person, feelings can change. Esme and I have been together for centuries. These feelings that we share... they've become platonic. No longer do I feel a physical need for her, out of lust or passion, like before. I find myself simply needing her because…well, because she is such a big part of who I am, my existence. And if she were to leave, I'm sure I would not know how to fully function or continue with routine without her presence. She's embedded in every aspect of my life, my soul…but not my heart. At least not in that way anymore. I rather find that my love for her has morphed into the kind of love I have for Edward or Alice…or any of my family. She is family. I love her as family."

I took in his quiet speech with great reverence. This explained a lot. With Rosalie and Emmett, there was evident physical affection. With Alice and Jasper, though it was subdued in company, the attraction was palpable. Carlisle and Esme had always seemed to have a demeanor that was too wise, too controlled, for outright passion. But even once, I had never seen much more than a fleeting squeezing of a hand or a swift hug between the two of them. I realized now that in the time I had known the Cullens, I had never once seen Carlisle kiss Esme or Esme kiss Carlisle.

I felt ignorant now to have never noticed.

"And does Esme…" I let myself trail off again, knowing he'd understand.

"She agrees. And I know this will be a shock to you, but she feels utterly the same way as I. Admittedly, she's more strong-willed out of the two of us. She thinks our distance now, both physically and emotionally, will somehow bring us back together. You yourself heard how well that's turning out."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I merely nodded.

"I hate to be the pessimistic one," He continued after a moment, "But I doubt anything will be able to mend us. Something has changed permanently. For some reason, I don't think I can ever be the same with her again. I can't explain it. For centuries I've not changed but I feel something coming now…a kind of catalyst."

"How do the others feel about this?" I asked tentatively. Edward had not told me a single thing but he must have seen it coming far off. He could read thoughts, after all. For him to have missed something like this was hard to believe.

Carlisle's brow now furrowed.

"Jasper has, of course, sensed the change in our emotions. But you know him," He said gravely, "He'll observe everything closely but will never say a word where it is not his place to. It may just be his nature not to meddle, but I rather think he doesn't want to hurt anyone by bringing the matter up aloud. He wants us to work it out ourselves."

He sighed now. "Edward knows a lot of it, I'm sure, try as we may to hide it from him. But he never says a word about it. He will just get very tight-lipped if he overhears one of us thinking about it. I don't know whether I should talk to him. I may just do more harm than good... Edward feels things too violently."

Carlisle's eyes tightened sadly and he stared off vacantly again.

I didn't want to be intrusive of his thoughts but I spoke anyway, needing to make him understand that this was just as affecting to me. "I wish Edward would have told me something about it. Maybe I could've helped."

The offer seemed feeble, but Carlisle understood the intention. He chuckled sadly. "If you could aid such a sordid affair than I'm sure he would've told you. But, Bella, this is beyond even your capable fingers." He gave me a small squeeze. I felt even worse; Carlisle was trying to make _me _feel better about this when his own feelings were wounded beyond repair.

"Edward is so protective of you," He continued, "I'm sure he wanted to spare you any worry or grief about the unfortunate troubles of vampires."

"Still," I insisted, feeling myself getting upset, "I wish I had known. I would've tried anyway."

"I know. Don't think I don't know that." Carlisle's eyes were trained on mine. "But don't you think on it anymore, alright? Not for a moment longer."

"I just.. I don't want you to be sad, Carlisle." I admitted, "I don't like that."

He forced a smile. "I am not unhappy. I am sitting in the presence of such a wonderful companion. How could I ever be unhappy in your presence, Bella? Never. It's blasphemous to think of it."

He was trying to cheer me up, trying to make me smile. Through all the pain and grief I knew was plaguing him, here he was protecting _me _from pain, as always. His compassion was a curse as much as it was a gift.

"Where do you and Esme go from here then?" I asked cautiously.

For a brief moment, his eyes tightened again. "I can honestly say that I don't know. Wherever life takes us, I guess. I know that's not a good answer." He grimaced.

"No, it's not. But I understand." I smiled gently.

I looked out at the sky. The sun was setting now; the oranges and pinks reflected in the sky played on our skin in interesting contrasts. The breeze was light but poignant. It was amazing how such beauty could shine in a time of such pain.

I did not stop to question it when Carlisle placed a light kiss on my cheek. I knew what it meant; an unspoken thank-you, measuring the emotion that words could not express. I sidled closer as his arm became firmer around my waist.

We sat and watched, in mutual silence, as the sun's last rays of daylight were consumed by darkness. And only once night had fallen, and the blackness afforded us a blanket of cover for the emotions playing on our faces, did we retreat back to our room, hand in hand.

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	6. Creature In The Night

**A/N: Another chapter for you guys! :) Hope you enjoy. And also, I really hope you guys don't think I forget about the story, I honestly try to update whenever I can! I have such little time to do it, but I make time for you guys :) Enjoy and keep the lovely feedback coming.**

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"I let it fall, my heart  
And as it fell, you rose to claim it  
It was dark and I was over  
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me"  
-Set Fire to the Rain by Adele

Chapter Six

Creature In The Night

The night was cool but not unpleasantly so. I wrapped my arms around myself, enjoying the stark windy breeze across my sweaty forehead as bodies pressed closer around me, swaying and rocking to the deafening music. I bobbed along to the beat, smiling broadly to the person pressed closest to me: Carlisle.

The crowd surged forward toward the stage as the singer dipped a hand precariously into the churning mass of people below, and Carlisle and I were pushed ahead unwillingly as well. He caught hold of me and steered me in front of him, grabbing both arms firmly to keep me from getting too far. I barely noticed; the bass was thumping loudly, reverberating along the ground and straight into my bones. It felt almost like the drummer was thrashing inside of my brain.

I laughed out loud, enjoying the moment and the feeling, then turned my head to face Carlisle. He grinned down at me upon seeing my smile, but there was still an uncertain stiffness in his posture. More people pressed against us as they danced, all flailing arms and flying hair. The song was reaching some sort of climax; people were bouncing on their toes, anticipating the apex, before breaking into a unanimous frenzy as the music surged impossibly louder.

I let the energy wash over me and began to bounce along with the others. Sweat poured down my back but I was immersed in the moment, melting into the crowd around me.

And all too soon, the music ended. The band struck a final, deafening chord before belting out a slurred farewell in French. The lights in the park came up, and the hazy cloud of smoke engulfing the crowd lifted. People blinked dazedly as if coming out of a reverie and wiped their hands over their faces, red and shining with sweat.

For a fleeting moment, as the crowd parted, I saw a lean, dark-haired boy watching me from the shadows and I started, but when I looked again, he was gone.

The crowd began to mill towards the park exits, speaking much too loudly, tripping over their own feet as they walked. I followed the pull of the crowd, trying to clear my head of the odd boy, before I noticed Carlisle's outstretched hand. I quickly took it and he led me to one of the park benches, weaving through the crowd expertly.

I sat down heavily, noticing the sweat marks on the green silk of the shift dress Alice had packed for me. She'd absolutely kill me if she saw the state of it now. I slipped off my sandals as Carlisle sat down beside me and dropped my legs onto his lap . Even the pale skin on my bare legs was flushed and sticky, but Carlisle's cool skin felt nice against it.

He smirked at me, as if asking what he was supposed to do with my legs.

"My feet hurt." I shrugged, knowing I was yelling.

He shook his head and laughed before beginning to rub my feet. "You _were _dancing quite a lot. I'd be surprised if they weren't."

I laughed again, resting my head on the cool metal of the bench. "They were good. The band, I mean. Sure, I may not have understood one word they sang, but I could get into music like that."

"You're a good dancer."

I propped my head up to see if he was joking. He was as serious as ever. "I'm not. I'm terribly clumsy, maybe. But good? No." I laughed.

"You are though," He was looking at me with wide eyes as he continued to rub my feet absently. "Watching you dance is mesmerizing, Bella, you don't give yourself enough credit."

Mesmerizing was definitely, one hundred percent, an overstatement, but when Carlisle had that painfully sincere look on his face, it was hard to argue.

"Thanks, I guess." I mumbled awkwardly.

It was his turn to shrug. His eyes drifted to the stage as the band cleared up and I took the moment to appraise him fully.

It had been two weeks since we'd talked on the roof, and from that day on, it had seemed like some weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Carlisle was walking taller, I could see it, and he carried himself much differently than I'd ever seen him do in Forks. At home, he was all business. The family patriarch, working seven days a week, counselling his kids, dealing with the burden of his and Esme's relationship. Here, there was no responsibility to contend with, and it showed. Carlisle was even dressing different, opting tonight for a light leather jacket and jeans instead of a dress shirt and tie.

If I didn't know him, I'd think he was about twenty five and maybe owned a motorcycle. The giggle forming in my throat nearly escaped at the thought of that.

He looked back at me, the park light over our heads flitting over his blonde hair. "You look hot." He said blankly.

My stomach flipped. "What?"

He stopped rubbing my feet. "I mean, you look sweaty." He reached over and pushed my hair back from my sticky face. "Are you all right? Are you sick?"

"No, no." I said, playing with the ends of my hair. It was longer than I remembered it, almost past my waist now. "I'm fine… just sweaty. All those people in the crowd, it got a little hot in there."

"Alright, then." He resumed the rubbing of my feet. "Can I get you anything though? Some food? Water?"

At the mention of water, I suddenly noticed how parched my throat was and licked my dry lips. "Actually, water sounds perfect."

"There's a vendor across the street, I'll get you a bottle." He said, standing up. Then he looked down at me worriedly, as if as a thought occurred to him. "Will you be okay here alone? It's dark out, and you're not familiar with the city… You should probably come along."

I shook my head. "My feet hurt, remember?" I said waving a foot in the air. It wasn't a lie; the thought of walking alone was painful. "I'll be fine Carlisle, please don't worry so much. You said it yourself, it's just across the street."

"Hm, alright." He said unsurely, and began to walk away. "I'll be right back."

"And I'll be right here."

I watched him as he shuffled through the remaining crowd until he was just a speck among the other people. I dropped my head back against the metal backing of the bench and closed my eyes, letting the breeze cool my sweaty skin. My feet were throbbing but not exactly painfully, it was more the feeling of wanting to get up and dance again. I'd have to ask Carlisle to take me to another concert like this soon.

Who would have thought Carlisle of all people, I thought amusingly, would like rock music?

But truthfully, it wasn't such an absurd idea, I realized, thinking of the Carlisle I'd gotten to know these past two weeks. He was relaxed, adventurous and almost carefree; a stark contrast to his old self. Since our conversation, it seemed we'd made some sort of unspoken agreement; neither of us would mention the troubles at home, but nothing between us was off-limits anymore. I could sense a new trust forming between us and I revelled in it. While this vacation was a means of keeping me safe, it was doing wonders for Carlisle. I'd never seen him smile this much before.

My own face broke out into a smile at the thought of it.

"You are a radiant creature, you are."

My eyes popped open and I glanced around, looking for the source of the voice. It was not Carlisle, that much I knew. This voice was silky, dangerous.

"Over here, darling."

I turned to the sound. There was a flash of pale white in the air in front of me, as if something had flown past me. Then, suddenly, a lithe figure appeared and sat down on the bench beside me. Somehow, my legs were in his lap and his cool fingers were running over my bare calves.

The boy had a sharp but beautiful face, all angles and planes. He was pale, much too pale to be human, and his dark, black hair coupled with nearly black eyes made his skin seem even whiter. The cold of his touch against my skin confirmed what I feared: he was a vampire. And more importantly, I realized, this was the very boy who had been watching me from the crowd.

I did the only thing I could think of in that moment: run.

Yanking my legs out of his grasp, I grabbed my sandals in my hands and sprinted from the bench. The park was almost clear now, and I could see a large tree not too far from where I'd been sitting, so I made a break for it.

I gripped the bark of the trunk as I neared it, falling against the wood. The sandals slipped from my hands and fell to ground as I heaved for breath.

But he was already there.

I didn't even have time to scream. The boy pinned me against the tree, his hands strong at my wrists, keeping me from squirming. I turned my face away as his own came closer, burying itself in my hair, breathing deeply. His body was pressed against my mine, keeping me still.

"You have a lovely smell. It's no wonder the other one keeps you so close."

His voice was not accented with heady French undertones, I realized. It was silky and whispery, and frighteningly flat. A shiver ran up my spine. If I screamed now, he'd only kill me faster.

"Who is he?" The boy whispered again, rubbing his nose against my neck. It was as if he couldn't smell me enough, that no amount of breath could take in enough to satisfy him. "Is he your mate? Odd choice for him. A human."

He'd been watching Carlisle and I for a while. If I wasn't so scared, I might have started to cry right then, but the paralysing fear inside of me blocked all emotion. He brought his face up to mine.

His eyes were as black as the sky behind him. They were filled with desperation, longing.

"Is your blood as sweet as it smells, dear one?"

I wanted to spit something vicious at him but I knew that would not be in my favor. I tried to avert my eyes from his, keeping very still.

"I know how it will taste." He purred manically. The boy's face was buried in my neck again, only this time, I felt his teeth graze my skin. "Yes, it will be heavenly. I'm afraid there won't be enough inside of you to satisfy me. You are so tiny."

I gritted my teeth. My hands were becoming numb from the pressure on my wrists. The boy began to convulse as if his desire for my blood caused him physical pain. He was muttering dementedly, odd words and half sentences.

"Will I have control? Can't cause her pain. Quick, painless death. Then I will drink. Sweet blood. Cannot cause pain, _Sauvage_ rules."

I started at his last words. _Sauvage_. So he was a _Sauvage _vampire. This, at least, explained his deranged monologue. He couldn't cause me a painful death, not unless he wanted to suffer the consequences of betraying his coven's rules. He could take my blood quickly and leave the body; there had to be no pleasure in the kill.

His hands roamed over my body, grazing my back and sides. I felt disgusted. I tried to push against him but he was much too strong. Already, I could feel the energy leaving me. His face was still buried in my neck, and with a sick, sinking feeling, I felt the tip of his tongue against the skin of my neck.

"Get off me." I said as firmly as I could. "Get off me or I'll scream."

"She speaks." He lifted his head, his dark eyes alive with desire. "Darling, you won't even have time to scream, believe me."

"He's coming back. He'll tear you to shreds."

He seemed to know who I was talking about. The boy clicked his tongue, his hands still roaming my back. "I'm not inclined to think so. His golden eyes, they tell so much. _Vegetarian._" He said the word with disgust. "I've heard the legends. He is defying his nature."

I decided to keep him talking. It could buy me time until Carlisle came back. "Well what about you? Aren't _Sauvage_ vampires supposed to value human life? Even if they feed on humans, they do it with respect. They're not supposed to enjoy the kill. And you," I said, pushing against his roaming hands, "Seem to be enjoying it very much."

He threw his head back and laughed a short, musical laugh. "A human educating me on _Sauvage_ principles. Nicholas will never believe me." He brought his eyes back to mine with ferocity. The boy's grip hardened. "Your death will be painless, yes, but that doesn't mean I won't enjoy it."

His hands left my back and suddenly gripped the sides of my face. I squirmed, but the pressure was so intense that I could not move an inch in his grip. His eyes watched me, my expression, so intently that I knew he was waiting for the fear to show. He wanted to gain that pleasure, that dominance, of having me cower before I died. I would never give him that satisfaction.

I met his gaze, head-on, with a cool glare.

The boy smiled. His teeth were white and even, glinting in the moonlight.

"If I weren't about to kill you," He whispered, "I'd commend you for your bravery. It's not so often I meet a victim with an attitude. Quite stupid on your part, really."

"If you kill me, there is a whole coven of vampires who will hunt you down." I whispered back fiercely. "You'll be dead within a day."

"I'm already dead, sweetie." He said, rubbing a thumb along my jaw. "Your vegetarian pets are no threat to me. Humans," He laughed, "So fickle. You think they truly love you, that they will rush to avenge your death. Let me tell you one thing about vampires: they don't love. They lie. And you, it seems, have fallen for it. You, my dear, are nothing more than a food source, I promise."

I stared. "You're wrong…you don't know them. They-"

The boy smiled, again, pleased that he was unnerving me at last. "I may not know them, but I know vampires. And deep down," He leaned in, close to my ear. "They all have one thing they love most of all: blood. Nothing else."

He pulled back, pleased to see the horror in my eyes.

The Cullens did love me. Edward and Alice have told me so to my face. And Carlisle, he mustcare about me, to have come half-way across the world to protect me. To think that they all have lied to my face…

_You, my dear, are nothing more than a food source, I promise._

I looked away from the boy. My face felt hot. I knew that he had won the fight. I shrunk against the tree, complacent with the fact that my death could come at any moment.

"I'm so glad to have your co-operation at last. It will make the whole thing a lot easier." I closed my eyes and felt his lips graze the side of my face, in a twisted, gentle motion that I guessed could only be a kiss. "I promise, darling, you won't feel a thing."

I rested my head against the tree, eyes closed, waiting.

Then, the boy's weight, which had been pressing against me this whole time, was suddenly gone, as if he had been lifted away. There was moonlight falling on my face, as if something that had been blocking it's path had abruptly moved. I waited for his breath to fall at my neck again, his hands to grip me, but neither came. I kept still, wondering what his plan was.

Suddenly, a deep grunt broke the silence, and the sound of something heavy falling against the earth caused me to fling my eyes open.

The boy was on the ground. Two hands circled his throat, braced to break his neck in a single gesture. The hands belonged to Carlisle, his eyes blazing more angrily than I'd ever seen.

"Bella, move." His voice was calm and slow, except for the palpable underlying tension in his words. I did as I was told and backed away from the tree, putting a sufficient amount of space between myself and the two vampires.

The boy struggled under Carlisle's grip, but then struck out, knocking him aside. In a movement too quick for my eyes, they were standing again, crouched and glaring. Carlisle launched himself at the boy, but he leaped out of the way, throwing himself towards me. I narrowly missed his outstretched hands, and Carlisle, with renewed fervor, collided with the boy, throwing him against the tree, which shook violently.

Carlisle's eyes blazed as he pinned the boys hands against the trunk. I wondered fleetingly whether that was how I had looked under the boy's grasp, only moments ago.

"State your name and coven, vampire." Carlisle requested calmly.

The boy glared, and even from a distance, I could see the impenetrable blackness of his eyes.

"If you'd rather not say," He continued rather cheerfully, despite the visible rage in his eyes, "I could just kill you now."

The boy contemplated Carlisle's offer for a moment. "Sebastian." He spat, unwillingly. "_Sauvage._"

The surprise in Carlisle's face was evident, and for a moment, he glanced my way. Then, he looked back at the boy, and I could see an idea dawning on him. Slowly, he turned his head back towards me and I understood his expression immediately.

_Anneliese and Solenne,_ it was saying. _This is our way of finding them._

We simply stared at each other for a moment. And then, slowly, I nodded. Carlisle looked back at Sebastian, whose gaze still held a burning rage and hunger.

"Tell you something, Sebastian. You get to live another day."

He looked at Carlisle, the rage abruptly fading away, replacing itself with a suspicious and untrusting scowl. "In return for what?"

Carlisle smiled tightly. "You will take Bella and I to _Sauvage_ quarters. I have someone I'd like to talk to there." He stopped for a moment, wondering if he should go on, and then continued. "Are you familiar with Anneliese and Solenne?"

The boy's gaze darkened. "I'd have to be. Anneliese is the coven leader."

"Wonderful." Carlisle said, taking his hands off the boy. "Take us there straight away and your life will be spared."

Sebastian straightened up as Carlisle backed away, towards me. For a second, the boy's gaze flitted back to mine and there was such hate and acrimony in his eyes that I flinched. His expression seemed to say: We're not finished, you and I. Then, the moment broke and he looked back at Carlisle.

"As you wish."

And at that, Sebastian shot off into the darkness.

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	7. Behind Enemy Lines

**A/N: I admit it. I'm the world's worst updater. Try not too hate me too much :(**

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"Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am whole again  
Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am young again"  
- Lovesong by Adele

Chapter Seven

Behind Enemy Lines

Sebastian was like lightning through the streets of the city. Our sickening speed coupled with the blur of streetlights and noises as we ran through beckoning alleys and deserted squares was enough to make me queasy. I clenched my eyelids shut, thinking that if we made it to our destination right then, it would still not be soon enough. I balled up my fists in Carlisle's shirt, silently willing him to go faster. I just wanted to rest my feet on solid ground. Maybe then I'd be able to process everything that had happened tonight. A shiver crawled up my spine at the thought of it all.

My head was still spinning from my encounter with Sebastian. It was hard to shake his leering face from my mind's eye. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his shiny teeth, forming the words that so frightened yet entrapped me. The deep desire in his eyes had been so pertinent, so raw, that even the thirst I had seen James' eyes couldn't compare. With Sebastian there was more than just hunger or thirst, there was passion and raw emotion and an uncontrollable animal lurking beneath, longing to shred itself out of human skin, to tear through the air for the scent of blood. And as I remembered his odd, convulsing presence before he'd almost killed me, I knew that that very scent was enough to drive him positively mad.

For a fleeting moment, I felt pity on Sebastian. How torturous it must be, to be in a constant state of longing, a state of deprived nature that in it's essence, was wholly hedonistic. If a vampire did not indulge those desires, then I knew just what the consequences were. Edward had explained enough for me to understand the physical pain and ever-present, deep-seated longing in a life without blood.

At the memory of Edward, my thoughts abruptly shifted to Carlisle. He had been able to resist human blood for so long that he was almost indifferent to the scent now. I wondered about the physical pain and torture he must have had to put himself through to get to where he was. He had worked so hard to disprove himself a monster…

My fleeting pity for Sebastian was gone in an instant. It was possible to live without killing humans for blood. Carlisle proved just that. If he was able, then anyone should be.

We were slowing now, I could feel it. Carlisle always slowed gradually when I was with him instead of simply coming to an abrupt stop, knowing how queasy I tended to get.

The night may have been dark, but the ominous presence of the _Sauvage_ quarters was hard to miss. We had to be well out of the city by now, for there were trees and bushes surrounding the castle-like structure and no visible hint of anything vaguely urban. The building was almost medieval-looking with the turrets on each side standing strong and foreboding. The dark façade coupled with the chill night air made me shudder and almost immediately, I felt Carlisle's arm drape my shoulder, holding me close.

"It seems the coven has upgraded the living situation since the last time I was here." Carlisle assessed nonchalantly. "A castle, not conspicuous at all."

I turned my head slightly just in time to see Sebastian's dark eyes fixed on Carlisle. His face was hard, the angles in his complexion seeming even sharper than before. He caught me staring and flicked his gaze down to me. There was still the remnants of longing in his eyes as he looked at me, but it was quickly replaced with fierce determination and a swift hatred. I felt almost squeamish under his intense gaze and averted my eyes.

"To be honest, it is a bit grand." He said in reply to Carlisle, "But isn't grandeur your thing, Cullen? L'Hotel de Crillon isn't for the simple type, you know."

I felt Carlisle stiffen. He looked over at Sebastian, who gazed at the castle with a look of mock innocence. I realized it then and so did he, that we didn't meet Sebastian out of coincidence tonight, he'd been watching us for a while. He knew both Carlisle's name and where we were staying which led me to believe he obviously knew a lot more, most likely about me. I moved myself closer into Carlisle's side for now I couldn't hide the trembling of my body.

"Well," Carlisle said flatly, composing himself, "Thank you, Sebastian, for showing us here. We can find our way inside ourselves."

Sebastian was a blur in the air, disappearing before Carlisle finished speaking. I glanced around to see whether he'd left, but he then rematerialized an inch from me. Carlisle quickly pushed me behind him.

"No, thank _you_ sir, you relieving me of this duty." His tone dripped with sarcasm. "Now if you don't mind, I won't be joining you inside. I have some… hunting to do."

Sebastian watched me shudder indifferently, pleased by the effect of his presence. I clutched Carlisle's jacket with shaking hands, trying hard to conceal the sheer fear emanating from my body. He smiled slightly, showing just the very tips of his teeth as if taunting me.

"_I can kill you, just one bite," _he seemed to say.

"Don't feel too badly, dear." He said, leaning in tantalizingly close. Carlisle retreated a step backwards, keeping me behind him. "I'll be around, I promise."

And with a chilling wink, he took off.

Carlisle was speaking in a soft, calming voice to me right away, assuring me that nothing, _nothing_, could hurt me while he was here. He wouldn't let anything come near me, everything will be fine, etcetera. But regardless, I had a strange fear inside of me, nestled deep in my core, taking refuge in the most vulnerable part of my brain. Carlisle _had _been there, all the time we roamed the city and as we took shelter in our hotel, but Sebastian had still found his way in, had still watched us with eyes like a predator. I knew that if he truly wanted, he could find a way to me. After all, that was exactly what had happened tonight.

"I know, Carlisle." I said, cutting him off, calming him down. "You would never let anything happen to me. I _trust_ you."

His tense face didn't soften but he nodded. "Never forget that, Bella."

"I won't." I squeezed his hand. "Do you want to go inside?"

He looked at the castle, unsure of whether coming here had been the right choice. I could see the apprehension on his face, considering the worst. If the others were like Sebastian, what would stop them from attacking me?

"You said Anneliese and Solenne were your friends. If Anneliese is coven leader, she won't let anything happen to us, right?"

He nodded, though still unsure.

"I can wait here if you want. You can go ahead, see if they're friendly and come back and get me."

His head snapped back to look at me. "I'm not leaving you here alone, Bella."

I was glad. The last thing I wanted was to be left alone, at night, with Sebastian running loose. But I feigned bravery, for Carlisle's sake.

"It's fine. I won't go anywhere, I swear." I smiled slightly to reassure him.

"It's not you I'm worried about." He glanced shiftily into the silent trees before taking my hand and leading me to the castle door.

We climbed the footpath and reached the door. Carlisle took the giant brass knocker, banging it against the heavy wood twice.

"Stand behind me, Bella," He ordered gently, "Just in case."

I obliged. After all, the only thing protecting me now was Carlisle and it was probably best I listened to him.

Light filtered onto the dark earth as the large door swung open. A petite, blonde woman peered out, eyebrows furrowed, and gazed at Carlisle with piercing red eyes. She watched him for a moment, placing him, and as her gaze flitted to his eyes, she exclaimed.

"Carlisle?" She asked, awed. He smiled brightly and she peered at him wondrously for a moment longer before throwing the door open and wrapping her arms around his neck. "Carlisle!"

"Solenne," He laughed, hugging her back. "How nice to see you."

She pulled away and watched his face again with inexplicable joy. "Please, come in, come in! How on earth did you find us?"

He took a tentative step forwards then turned his head back to me. "Solenne," He began unsurely, "This is Bella, my…friend."

Her face dropped as she caught sight of me. It took her less than a second to realize what I was and by the look on her face, I guessed she wasn't too happy about it.

"A…human?" She stuttered, still gaping at me. "Carlisle, why did-?"

"It's not what you think, Solenne," He assured, "Can we come in and talk?"

Solenne watched me closely, as if assuring herself I wasn't about to do something crazy, like scream or run, but once I smiled unsurely up at her, she seemed to let up.

"Why, yes. Yes. Do come in."

She stood back and allowed us into the foyer, slamming the door shut behind us. She came around and stood before us, under the light of a large crystal chandelier. Solenne was not much taller than me, about an inch or so, and her most striking feature was the thick mane of light blonde hair down her back. Coupled with her pale skin and bright red eyes, one would find her either fascinating or absolutely terrifying. I thought she was beautiful.

"Oh, Anneliese will be so thrilled to know you've come to visit! Nicholas," She called to a passing figure, "Call Anneliese to the main sitting room, please. We have guests."

The figure nodded and took off down a dark hallway lined with paintings. I watched him go, remembering Sebastian's fierce laugh and exclamation: _"A human educating me on Sauvage principles. Nicholas will never believe me."_

I tried to repress another shudder.

Solenne and Carlisle were walking, almost halfway across the foyer now, talking boisterously as I ran to join them. Solenne was immersed in pointing out a painting, explaining who the man pictured was, as I caught up. Carlisle glanced at me fleetingly and must have seen the worry on my face for his eyebrows tensed. I shook my head and turned my attention to the painting Solenne was gesturing to, but as we walked on I felt Carlisle's unwavering eyes on me.

We turned at the first corner into a large sitting room. Dark leather sofas were placed for seating and complimented with a mahogany coffee table and crystal vases arranged artfully atop it. The room was lit dimly, candles maybe, and I smelled incense. The overall effect was quite pleasing.

"Please sit down, you two. You must have traveled so far." Solenne sat herself across from us.

We sat side by side on the couch and Carlisle lazily draped his arm across the back of the sofa, letting his hand rest upon my shoulder. I wasn't sure he even noticed what he was doing but Solenne's eyes watched his arm critically. Her face was impassive but I could see her brain whirring, trying to make sense of the action.

"Actually, we were in the city." Carlisle replied. Solenne's gaze flitted back to meet his. "Business."

"How lovely." She smiled, and delved straight into conversation. "We haven't heard from you in so long, we wondered whether you'd found a coven or not. It must have been difficult…with your diet and all."

"Actually," Carlisle laughed, "I formed my own. I met my first son, Edward, not long after I left here. He was a patient of mine, dying of influenza. I was alone, had been so for too long, and once I considered that he'd barely had the chance to live in the world…I decided I would turn him. In fact, his mother almost directly suggested it."

"Remarkable." She said leaning forward, enthralled. "And the others in your coven? You changed them all?"

"All but two." He smiled.

Another woman's heels were approaching the door. A hand pushed open the door and the vampire entered the room before Solenne could reply. She was quite tall, statuesque really, with curly black hair tied back into a ponytail. Her eyes, like Solenne's, shined bright red but her pallor, though pale, was olive toned. She was grinning.

"Carlisle Cullen." She smiled, "Nice of you to remember us."

"Anneliese." He stood to greet her. "It's been too long."

"It has. Too long." She laughed as she hugged him tightly. Her eyes met mine over Carlisle's shoulder. "Nicholas told me you brought a guest."

Carlisle pulled back and gestured to me. "This is Bella Swan. Bella, Anneliese."

I extended a hand. "It's nice to meet you."

Anneliese ignored my hand and leaned directly over to hug me. She pressed me close firmly. "_Enchantée_. Any friend of Carlisle's is a friend to us."

I pulled back and smiled up at her somewhat unsurely.

"No need to look so scared, Bella dear," She laughed, "We won't bite!"

I knew she had said it teasingly, but her words inexorably made me think of Sebastian, and a cold sweat broke out on my back. Carlisle must have noticed the change in my expression for sat me down beside him on the couch and rubbed my hand reassuringly, coaxing it out of the tight fist I had unintentionally made.

"Only joking." Anneliese said awkwardly, placing herself down beside Solenne.

"Sorry, Anneliese. It's nothing to do with you, actually. In fact, Solenne, to answer your first question, it has to do with how we found you here…"

Carlisle briefly recalled our meeting with Sebastian, the odd, unsettling promise he'd made to return and his relaying of information we thought no one knew, like our hotel and Carlisle's name. Anneliese listened silently, though intently, and Solenne shook her head many times, muttering what I could only guess to be a string of swears.

"Ann," Solenne said, turning to Anneliese once Carlisle had stopped speaking, "We must do _something_ about him! He is not a true _Sauvage_! He has no respect for our way of life. Take him out of the coven or in God's name, I will deal with him myself!"

"Solenne, sister, calm please." Anneliese said serenely. "I will deal with Sebastian, I swear it. He has gone too far."

"Has he done this sort of thing before?" I asked quietly.

"Too many times!" said Solenne heatedly.

"Yes," replied Anneliese, picking herself off the couch. She walked to the window and stared out into the darkness. "But he will do so no longer. We will not have a savage amongst our kind. If he will leave the coven peaceably, fine. Otherwise, if it is necessary, we will dispose of him. Vampires who disvalue human life are not worthy of their blood."

The room was silent with the ringing of the coven leader's words. Anneliese did not seem like a woman who angered easily or did so dramatically but the calm and certain tone she spoke with now was enough to keep anyone in line. She emanated leadership and strength, as if her word was law, much like Carlisle did with his family in Forks.

"Solenne," Anneliese said, turning back towards us, a renewed smile upon her lips, "Take Bella to the kitchen and treat her to some of our finest wine and food. She deserves some kindness and hospitality after the embarrassment Sebastian bestowed on us."

"Come along with me, Bella." Solenne said nodding, extending her hand to me. "Let's get you fed."

I looked to Carlisle, who smiled reassuringly, and took her hand. She smiled broadly and lead me out of the room, where Carlisle and Anneliese had renewed their conversation, and into the large stone hallway outside of it. She walked slowly, keeping pace with my human stride, and immediately struck up a string of chatter.

"I must admit," She said, turning us into an adjacent hall, "I _was_ surprised to see Carlisle with a human. But if there was any vampire who could befriend humans, it _would _be him, wouldn't it?"

I chuckled. It was very true.

"How he is able to resist blood is truly something, isn't it?" She mused, "Wonder how he stands it, being a doctor and all… he's really something. As close to human as our kind gets."

"Yeah," I agreed admiringly, "He's amazing. The scent of blood doesn't bother him at all anymore. He's trained himself to be immune to it, it's crazy. Judging by what I know about vampires, I'd never have thought it possible if I hadn't met him."

Solenne gave me a mischievous look over her shoulder that I didn't quite understand before turning into a brightly lit kitchen, equipped with refrigerator, stove and all. She sat me down on a stool at the island and turned to the cabinet to fish out a plate.

"How come you guys have a kitchen?" I asked, awed, looking around. Solenne reached into the fridge and pulled out a loaf of bread. "And food? Vampires don't eat."

"Many in our coven have friendships and business with the humans in town. It would be rude to invite someone over without at least offering them a glass of wine!" She laughed, reaching behind her for a bottle. "We like to have a stock of food and drink, just in case someone drops by. Wouldn't want to be rude to our human friends, would we? Red or white wine, by the way?"

I shook my head. "Er… I don't really drink."

She laughed and poured me a glass of red wine. "You're in Paris, dear. Now's as good a time to start as any."

I laughed and accepted the food and drink with a thank you as Solenne sat herself across from me. She placed her elbows on table and leaned towards me excitedly as I began to eat.

"So?"

"So…what?" I laughed.

"You and Carlisle?" She said, waggling her brows at me. "What's going on there?"

I nearly choked. With a cough, I swallowed down my bite and gaped at her. "What do you mean?"

"Darling," She giggled, "A couple doesn't come to Paris on _business_. Unless…" She said thoughtfully, "Unless it's _that_ kind of business, if you know what I mean!"

"Oh my God…" I said embarrassedly. I could feel my cheeks turning red. "No, oh God, no. It's nothing like that. Carlisle and I aren't a couple."

"Mhm," She smiled, enjoying my flustered state. "I'm sure you aren't."

"Really!" I insisted, but she continued to grin at me.

"Alright dear, don't choke now."

I shook my head and picked at my food. Solenne began to hum something slow and soft as I continued to chew my food but the desire to question was eating me up. I picked up my glass and took a tentative sip, then put down my spoon and looked at Solenne.

"Solenne," I pursued quietly, "How come you thought that? That we were together. Does it…does it seem that way?"

I stared at her, genuinely curious to hear her response. Oddly enough, I didn't feel embarrassed by her assumption, more inquisitive… more interested. She looked back at me and the smirk on her face faded to a look of sincerity once she caught glance of my expression.

"He hasn't let go of your hand once since you arrived, Bella." She answered me directly, "And he just seems so…happy isn't the word. More like…complete. He seems complete. And when he looks at you, making sure you're comfortable or if you're happy, it just seems like that's the only thing in the world that's important to him. You're the only thing."

She shrugged and tapped the countertop with her nails. "He never stops looking at you. Reading your face, your emotions. And when he does, he has this look on his face. It's peaceful. Like he's got the whole world in front of him."

I rested my hand under my chin to steady myself. Things were suddenly getting a little dizzy. If what she was saying was true, then…

Then, what? What did that mean? Did Carlisle feel more for me than he was letting on? Was that even possible? I cleared my throat, trying to think of something to say to fill the growing silence. She seemed to understand my state of speechlessness and rested her cool hand on top of mine.

"Listen, I don't know what you two have. I don't know how you met. I don't know your story. But let me tell you something, Bella." She said softly, "There's something there. Between you. I won't say it's love. But it's very strong. You are essential to him."

"How do you know?" I asked quietly, refusing to meet eyes with her.

She straightened herself up on her stool and pushed her hair behind her ears. "When I was changed, centuries ago, I came into this life with an…_enhanced _ability." She said, speaking slowly. "I have the ability to interpret body language into feeling… or rather, the intensity of feelings. When you two sat down in the sitting room, you remember he put his arm around you? Something stood out to me there immediately. I can't tell exactly what feeling the person is producing, but I can tell how strong it is. And when he touched you, it felt very strong. Intense."

I looked up at her. She met my gaze and held it, trying to convince me she was being honest. I believed her. For some reason, something inside of me compelled me to believe her. But believing her would mean I acknowledged Carlisle had feelings for me. Which led me wonder… what did I feel for him?

"And me?" I asked, taking a steadying breath. "What did you feel from me?"

She considered me for a moment. "Exactly the same."

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. Solenne appraised me and the shakiness of my hands she had spurred by her words.

"You feel safe with him." She persisted, not letting up now that she had started, "You feel happy with him. He calms you, he makes you feel well. You want him near you, always." She watched me closely, gaining confidence in her assessment when I didn't object. "You may just love him."

My head snapped up.

Love? Now this was a whole different level. Could she really have gained that much from my actions? Love… it wasn't possible. I loved Edward.

Didn't I?

Solenne looked confident. She shook her head, as if answering my silent question.

"He's married." I said tonelessly, for this _was _the truth and surely, surely, she had to be wrong. "He loves Esme, his wife."

"Then tell me something, Bella." She leaned across the island again, close to my face. "If he loves his wife, why is he here in Paris with you? Why doesn't he ever leave your side? Or ever drop your hand?"

"He's protective." I sputtered, "He has to protect me, it's his job. We're here so he can protect me."

"No." Solenne shook her head. "If he loved his wife, I mean _truly _loved her, then he would look at her the way he looked at you." She pulled back from me with a look of satisfaction. "I may have never met her, may have never seen the two of them together, but I'm not inclined to think he looks at her that way. Are you?"

My silence was enough of an answer to satisfy her.

There were footsteps, laughter, in the hallway outside the kitchen and Solenne hopped off her stool, grabbing my dishes as she went. Carlisle and Anneliese entered the room nearly a second later, laughing off the remnants of their conversation.

"Ah, I see that Bella is well and fed." Anneliese said, smiling at Solenne as she retook her seat on the stool across from me. "I do hope you accept our sincere apologies for Sebastian, dear. We aren't all like him, trust me."

I gave her my best fake smile and mumbled, "It's no problem at all."

I could feel Solenne's eyes on me, calculating. She would see straight through my actions, but at least Anneliese wouldn't.

"It is a problem, though." Anneliese responded, dispiritedly. "We will have to take immediate action with him. Once he returns here." She said, nodding at Solenne.

"Are you ready to leave, Bella?" Carlisle asked, "It's getting late."

"But Bella and I were having such fun!" Laughed Solenne, taking my hand, "You'll simply have to come back."

I smiled tightly at Solenne as she grinned at Carlisle's arm, which had draped itself over my shoulders yet again. "Definitely." I answered politely.

"Actually," Anneliese piped up, throwing Solenne a significant look, "To further apologize for Sebastian _and_ as an excuse to get you two back here," She winked, "I am formally inviting you two to our _Soirée des Étoiles_ tomorrow night!"

"What's that?" I asked curiously.

"It's a ball!" Solenne interjected excitedly, "We're holding a ball here tomorrow night. We're inviting all our human friends from the city and we're decorating the ballroom! There'll be dancing and dresses and food, it will be divine. Oh, such fun!"

I had to admit, though dance was definitely not my forte, this _Soirée _did sound like fun. If I could take away anything from the huge castle, the beautiful rooms and paintings, it was that this ball would definitely be lavish.

Carlisle smiled at the other two vampires. "That sounds lovely. We'd be more than happy."

"I don't have anything to wear," I admitted sheepishly, "I didn't pack anything that formal."

"That's no problem." Anneliese said confidently, "Sister, find Bella a dress. We have more than enough variety here, I'm sure we'll find you something," She added as Solenne ran off, "So many girls in one home, couple that with extravagant tastes and we've got _plenty_ of extra clothes. Most of which never gets worn more than once!"

She led us into the hallway and to the front foyer, where Solenne was already waiting, garment bag in hand. As we neared, she held the dress out to me and leaned in to whisper, "Carlisle will just _love_ this one. Trust me."

I pulled back and gave her an exasperated look, to which she just replied with a smirk.

"Thank you for visiting, Carlisle. Don't be a stranger to us anymore. You and your coven are welcome here anytime." Anneliese smiled down at me, "And of course, Bella too."

I smiled in return and we said our goodbyes. Solenne held open the door as we exited.

"_Bonne nuit_, friends! Good night, dears."

Carlisle waved over his shoulder at her and turned to me once we were outside.

"Here, let me carry that." He said, prising the garment bag out of my hands. "And it's chilly too. Take my jacket."

Carlisle shrugged his coat off and draped it around over my shoulders. "All set?" He asked quietly, pushing a strand of hair out my face. I nodded.

And just as we prepared ourselves to leave the chilly wood and shadow of the _Sauvage _mansion, I glanced back over my shoulder. There Solenne was, still waiting at the door, watching Carlisle fix his jacket around me with a smug expression that seemed to say the dreaded words: "_I told you so"_.

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**Review? Next chapter is the soiree! Ooh la la!**


	8. La Vie En Rose

**A/N: Finally here's the Soiree chapter! Hope you all enjoy :) If you want the full effect of what I was going for then you should definitely play "La Vie En Rose" by Louis Armstrong in the background during the dance scene ;)** **Hee hee! Have fun kiddies! Reviews are like gorgeous Paris nights.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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"Rain explodes at the moment that the cab door closed/  
I feel the weight upon your kiss ambiguous"  
- Books From Boxes by Maximo Park

Chapter Eight

La Vie En Rose

Solenne had gone positively mad. There could be no other plausible explanation for her giving me this dress. This scrap of cloth, more like.

I turned around, scrutinizing myself in the mirror, my pinched face glaring unhappily back at me. I _had _to find something else. Anything. I'd wear _jeans _to this ball even if it meant being the odd one out as long as I could escape this damn thing. There was no possible way I could wear this out of this hotel room. Maybe the Solennes and the Rosalies of the world could wear something like this with confidence, but the Bella Swans of the world definitely could not.

There was a light tapping at the door.

"Bella, are you alright in there? We really should be leaving soon."

It was Carlisle. I was making us late, I knew it, but I couldn't build up the nerve to leave the sanctuary of the bathroom looking like _this._

"Uh, yeah. Do me a favour, would you?" I asked, thinking fast. "Pass me the black coat on my bed. I'll just be one more minute."

"Alright."

I heard his footsteps retreat towards my room and I heaved a deep breath. The coat would cover most of the problem but there was still the bottom half to consider. I frowned, cursing Solenne for getting me in this mess to begin with.

The dress was long, floor length, but that was as modest as it got. A large slit, beginning down from the ankle traveled all the way up to the middle of my thigh. The back of the dress was virtually nonexistent, dipping tantalizingly low on my skin. I pulled at it, trying desperately to cover my endless paleness. And the worst part yet? The neckline. Dropping lower than any of my, Alice's or Rosalie's dresses ever had combined, it was a sure thing that tonight men would passing me bills as I walked by and asking for lap dances left and right.

Alright, calm down. I could handle this. Maybe I was overreacting a bit.

I looked at the endless skin reflected back at me and scowled. Screw that, I had every right to be.

I pulled out the bobby pins holding my up hair and brushed out my curls, mentally thanking Alice for not letting me cut it. It was just long enough so a decent amount of my back was covered. I pulled a section to the front, trying to cover up the exposing neckline but to no avail. I'd just have to grin and bear it on that part, I was afraid.

I checked myself in the mirror one more time. The dress really could have been quite beautiful if there was, you know, _more _of it. It was made of a gorgeous deep red silk fabric and had twinkling crystals embroidering the whole torso, making me look something like a vampire in sunlight. On that note, I loved it. On the rest of it, not so much.

Carlisle tapped on the door again. I opened it just enough so I reach out, grab my coat and close it again hurriedly. There was no way Carlisle was seeing me looking like this until absolutely necessary. If I could get away with keeping my coat on at the ball, I would do just that, but I had a feeling Solenne wouldn't let that happen. As I pulled on the jacket and did up the buttons, I could swear I heard him chuckle.

He could laugh, _he _wasn't the one wearing a skimpy piece of silk to the ball.

I opened the door and stepped out, smiling at him sheepishly. Carlisle was there, waiting by the door, clad in a crisp black tailcoat and tie. I took a moment to appraise him fully and then nodded approvingly.

"You'll do." I joked. He shook his head and laughed, pulling on his own coat.

"Thank you kindly for the assessment."

I walked over and joined him, being careful not to let too much of my leg show as I walked, for I could feel him watching the slit of my dress uncertainly. I clasped the two pieces of fabric tightly over each other to avoid flashing my whole leg and compromised my steady walk for a slow waddle. As I neared, he offered his arm and I took it. I was grateful for the lack of comment.

"I was kidding, by the way," I smiled, "You look very handsome, Mr. Cullen."

He smiled back. "And you look quite nice yourself, Miss. Swan. I was afraid I would have to find a way to blackmail you into wearing a dress. I was sure you were going to step out of the bathroom in a pair of jeans."

"I almost did," I muttered, forcibly pulling the sides of the dress together again and balling up the fabric in my hand.

When I saw Solenne tonight, I would throttle her. I could imagine her having herself a hearty laugh, imagining the sexual tension she'd created by giving me this horrendous thing to wear. Well, she didn't know me very well, did she? Sexual tension was never an issue for Bella Swan until there were copious amounts of embarrassment beforehand.

"A car is waiting for us downstairs," Carlisle informed me, leading us out the door, "I figured running us there was out of the question, considering your hair and all."

"Oh yes," I agreed sarcastically, following him into the elevator he'd summoned, "Perfect hair was at the top of my list of priorities this evening."

Miraculously, Carlisle laughed. The lift began to descend.

We arrived in the bustling main lobby and were met immediately with a great amount of gaping. I figured, for the staring men, it had something to do with the atrocious way I was dressed and for the flailing women, the general shock of seeing an extremely handsome man dressed to the nines. Carlisle took in the scene and gripped my arm tighter, steering us towards the door.

A woman coming through as we passed by stepped briskly out of our way, making wide eyes at Carlisle. I almost had an odd urge to lean over and close her gaping mouth for fear of the precarious glob of drool on her mouth falling onto her neat suit.

I was ushered outside before I had the chance. The driver of our car, who had been leaning against the car smoking a cigarette, straightened himself up immediately as we neared. His eyes dropped instantly to the slit of my dress and once again, I shoved it closed posthaste.

Carlisle seemed to have noticed his wandering eyes and snapped something at him in fast French. The driver, looking properly abashed, flicked away his butt and pulled open the car door through which Carlisle ushered me inside. There was an odd steeliness in his eyes as he watched the driver clamber in and rev the engine.

"Don't have much tact, do they?" I asked timidly, attempting to make light of the situation. One look at Carlisle's hard expression told me he didn't find the whole thing very amusing and I dropped my joking manner immediately.

"None." He agreed in a firm voice, turning his head to the window as the car pulled away from the hotel.

I rested my own head back on the seat and closed my eyes. I had a feeling we were in for a very long night, indeed. We'd barely made out of the hotel without causing a spectacle and I knew, surrounded by other rowdy vampires and humans, the rest of the night would likely continue the same way.

Oh, boy howdy.

I turned to look out my own window and watched the passing buildings and cars, all of which were alight with that mysterious air of night time. I gazed longingly at each one zoom past as we drove on, barely gracing me a second to marvel. I sighed. There was so much left to experience here in Paris, so much out there just beyond my fingertips, waiting for me to discover. The cool glass was satisfactory relief for my burning face but it made me feel caged.

The car slowed at a stop light for a moment and the melancholy feeling did not leave me. I wondered how anyone could truly see this city, _live_ it, without staying here for a lifetime. I was so afraid I wouldn't get to truly know Paris before we had to leave. Leaving here without standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower breathing true Paris air, feeling the city for myself… that was my biggest fear.

I pressed my fingers to the cool glass, much like I had done the first night we'd come here.

"We still have a few weeks here," Carlisle said, breaking the silence. I noted the rather softer tone of his voice. "We'll have time to see it all."

I nodded stiffly, not taking my eyes off the scene. It was like watching a television; all so real and tangible yet just beyond the reach of my fingertips. There was a beat of silence and stillness in the car.

Carlisle's hand reached over slowly and wrapped itself around my own. He cradled it loosely, somewhat unsurely in his cool hold, allowing me the moment to pull away if I desired to. I didn't. He took it as an approval and slowly entwined his fingers through mine. His grasp felt safe, so I held tighter.

I peeled my eyes away from the outside world and back to Carlisle. My protector, my friend, someone who cared for me deeply, or so Solenne had said. I searched his face, trying to find the motivation for his action, and found only the deepest sincerity. His eyes conveyed vulnerability, the set of his mouth showed fear. I realized it then: he was scared. But what did he have to fear?

Solenne's words thrashed about in my brain and she answered my silent question for me. He was scared because everything she had that day was true and everything he felt for me should be wrong, should be impossible, yet the feelings were there and they were vehement on staying. Was this the face of a man who looked at me and felt "complete"?

No.

This was a man who scared to act on his feelings. This was a man who considered all the repercussions of acting but was treading along warily anyway. This was a man who needed assurance, and not from himself, not from a certain _Sauvage_ friend or not from any stranger, he needed it from the only other person who mattered. He needed it from me.

Lines were about to be crossed, I could feel it. Ideals and divides and sanity were about to blur but somehow, in the confines of this dark car and in the space between us two on the slick, leather seat, that didn't matter. I tried to tell him from the look in my eyes, tried to tell him that I was right there along with him, that all his fears mirrored mine.

I slid myself over towards his open arms and nestled myself against him. I laid my head against his chest, where the silent heart rested. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close, stroking my hair. Desperation was thick in the air around us.

I squeezed closed my eyes, willing the world and our reality to disappear so I could have this, whatever _this_ was, all to myself. I balled the front of his jacket in my hand, burying myself closer into his chest, letting his scent become all I knew. I felt Carlisle lower his face into my hair and breathe deeply.

"I never want to leave this place. I just want to stay here forever." I whispered, burrowing myself closer to him.

"If only," He said simply. "But there's a world out there beyond Paris, Bella, and when the time is right, we'll have to face it."

I knew that. And most importantly, I feared it.

I craved time to figure out what was happening. I knew what Solenne had said, it constantly plagued me, but I wanted to realize for myself how much of that was true. She had said that I may just love him. The only way I could prove that either true or false was to let myself open up to him, and for that, I needed time. Desperately.

It felt like everything I'd ever known had changed overnight. Here I rested, in Carlisle's arms above all, wondering whether or not I loved him. Edward was not a variable in my concerns at the moment, he was a world away. I acknowledged that I was cruel in doing this to him, as he risked his life to save mine no less, but was love a strong enough factor for it not to burden me?

If it was, then I had answered my own burning question about Carlisle.

And yet, this brought on a myriad of questions about Edward, whether how I felt for him compared to the intensity of feelings in this car and of being held in these arms. I wondered if it was possible to love two people at the same time. But how could two loves that were so incommensurable even be compared? I squeezed my eyes shut, willing all this rationality to bugger off.

I looked up to find Carlisle watching me. The darkness of the car did not dim the golden shine of his eyes and as they watched me, I could sense that he was slowly coming to grasp with his own feelings as I came to mine.

"You can pull away," He said softly, "Pull away now and we can exit this car, unchanged. If you so desire, we can leave as we always were: friends, companions."

As he spoke, the words held less and less conviction. For some unfathomable reason, he wanted and hoped with all his might I wouldn't pull away. But as compassionate as ever, Carlisle gave the option over to me, disregarding any pain he might feel to spare me from it.

"I've nowhere else to go, I'm afraid," I murmured, holding him closer.

I expected a smile, a rush of joy, but he continued to frown. "Consider what you're deciding, Bella."

He wanted me to think of the repercussions. Of Edward, the family. I pushed the thoughts out of my brain. I'd spare myself the headache for tonight.

"I don't care." I breathed. "I'm not leaving."

Carlisle closed his eyes tightly and then reopened them, trained them on mine.

"Are you certain?" He asked in a strained voice, "Because right now, I can let go." He heaved a heavy breath. "I can pretend. And one day, sometime soon, I'll even force myself to forget this… _feeling _I have in holding you so close. But if you stay now, and then leave, I won't have the heart to let go. And I'm afraid doing it anyway, as I'll have to, will possibly kill me."

There they were. Feelings, trickling past his self-control, betraying his infallible mask of certainty. Carlisle was laying it all out for me, begging me to accept him yet giving me an escape, the option to turn back. I was compelled by his words and struggled to find my own.

And just then, as I grasped for the words that eluded me, I had the sudden notion that I'd never feel safer than I did in these arms, and therefore I never wanted to leave them. And on that, I based my decision.

"You won't ever have to worry about that," I said, touching his cheek. "Because there's no place I'd rather be than where I am now. No place more safe, none more like home."

The car was sliding to a stop and I looked out the window to see the _Sauvage_ mansion, glowing with light.

"Isabella," He said seriously, "Please consider-"

"I've considered everything there is to consider." I said, cutting him off and using up my remaining bravado. "And I have never felt more sure."

So this was a half-truth. I was completely unsure of everything. I hadn't considered anything. I was a mess of thoughts and feelings and confusion, but staring into those golden eyes made me certain of only one single thing: I wanted Carlisle's happiness more than life itself and if it involved me, then I would give myself to him. I wanted to be the source of that happiness more than anything.

Carlisle smiled. It was a small, tentative smile but it lit up his whole face. That smile made me smile.

The driver came around to the side and pulled open our door.

"Are you ready for a party?" I asked, smirking.

The smile only grew. "With you here? Darling, I'm ready for anything."

Carlisle climbed out of the car and extended a hand to help me. I decided that now was the moment to rid myself of another inhibition and biting back a laugh, I exited the car with my exposed leg first, letting my pale skin flash in the moonlight.

I straightened up outside and busied myself fixing my hair, seeing from the corner of my eye Carlisle truly appraising me, a look of both shock and appreciation on his face. The slit had done what it had been designed to do, Solenne would be so proud.

Nicholas answered the door when we knocked. There was an immediate surge of music and laughter, extending from one of the side halls. He led us to the ballroom silently after a brisk greeting.

I clutched my coat around myself tighter, losing the nerve I'd built up a moment ago, feeling suddenly quite self-conscious.

Craving the safeness again, I curled an arm around Carlisle's and he stroked a finger against it. A warm shiver traveled up my skin and I steeled myself for the entrance.

The doorman reached for our coats the moment we stepped into the hall. I had barely a moment to marvel at the beautiful scene around me before Carlisle was sliding the jacket from my shoulders. The room was slightly chilly despite the numerous burning candles and bodies flowing on the dance floor and I gripped my forearms, attempting to rub the chill from them. The endless faces surrounding us were pale and beautiful but few, like mine, were flushed and pink.

Carlisle sidled up beside me and took my hand, turning me around once.

"Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright." He appraised with a grin. "It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night like a rich jewel in an Ethiope's ear. Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear."

Carlisle turned me around once more, then pulled me close into his side as we walked towards the bustling crowd.

"Shakespeare." I noted, taking his arm. "Very classy. Are you trying to get on my good side by quoting compliments from my favourite play at me?"

"Romeo and Juliet is your favourite?" He asked teasingly, "Oh, I had no idea. But tell me, is it working?"

"Maybe a little bit." I chuckled. "But honestly, Carlisle. This dress… all of this. Not my idea, I promise."

I fared a glance down at the plunging jewelled neckline and snapped my head right back up. If I didn't look, maybe it would go away. Please God, go away.

"I don't mind it all that much." He replied with a small smirk.

I threw an incredulous look up at him. Carlisle only continued to smirk.

"Mes amis belle!" A voice called loudly from the din. I glanced up to see a blonde figure making her way towards the two of us.

Solenne was traipsing in our direction, the fluidity of her movements almost making it seem like she was waltzing across the floor. Her long blonde hair was tucked in a neat bun at the nape of her neck and two enormous sapphire stones rested on her earlobes. Her dress was of a long midnight blue design, the net sleeves reaching almost to her thumbs. She manoeuvred her extensive train among the dancing couples as she came towards us.

She grinned at the two of us broadly, the action brightening her already stunning features. Solenne appraised us both, her eyes resting mischievously on me for a moment longer, before swooping into hug Carlisle.

"Oh, Carlisle!" She exclaimed, "Words cannot describe my happiness in you joining us tonight!"

"The pleasure is really all ours, Solenne," He replied cordially. "Thank you for inviting us."

"You and the formalities!" She giggled, slapping him playfully on the shoulder. She turned towards me with a glint in her eye. I forced my best murderous smile. "And Bella!" She exclaimed again, "Beautiful Bella. I see the dress has worked in your favor. Not everyone has the body to pull it off!"

She leaned into hug me and very quietly I whispered in her ear. "I am going to _kill_ you."

Solenne's breathy laugh filled my ears. "Darling, you cannot kill the undead!" She pulled back and the self-satisfied grin was back on her face. She looked towards Carlisle quickly then back at me and waggled her eyebrows.

"Solenne." I said through clenched teeth. She was enjoying this whole thing a little bit too much for my liking. Carlisle seemed calm and easy beside me, so I revelled in the hope he hadn't seen her significant look.

"Bella!" She countered lightly. "You two really should go on and enjoy yourselves now. Drinks and food are over there and you two can find the dance floor, I think."

She gestured towards the small bar counter where a few pink-faced men were crowded. "Meanwhile, I really think I should fulfill my duties as hostess. Do have a good time, won't you? And don't get into _too _much trouble." With a wink, she sauntered off, but not without slapping my behind lightly as she went.

Dead or undead, if I had something sharp in my hands right now, I'd be launching it at her perfectly blonde head.

"Dance floor," I said, taking Carlisle's hand to calm myself down. "Let's go dance."

He chuckled easily and took my arm again. As we made our way over, I grabbed a drink off the nearest waiter's tray and downed it in one gulp. I grimaced as it burned itself down my throat and guessed foolishly it wasn't the same red wine I'd had before. I could feel Carlisle's eyes on me.

"If I have to wear this thing all night," I said fiercely, "I'm going to need a little confidence boost."

Without thinking, I grabbed another drink and downed it. Okay, _that_ time I regretted it. Whatever this stuff was, it was strong. The burning sensation took longer to dissipate this time and I gripped Carlisle's hand tighter as he steered me onto the floor.

He took my waist and pulled me closer into him as we took our place among the other couples. I encircled my arms around his neck and followed his lead. Dancing with a competent partner was always enjoyable for someone like me.

"Carlisle," I said, locking eyes with him as he swayed us softly to the music, "Can I ask you something?"

He pushed a tendril of hair off my shoulder and touched the skin lightly with his fingertips before replacing his hand on my waist.

"Hm?"

The music was changing. A slow, drowsy jazz tune was beginning to play and I vaguely registered that it was familiar to me. My head was feeling slow and heavy as the music permeated my brain and I rested it against Carlisle's chest. The singer began to warble into the microphone.

_Hold me close and hold me fast_

_The magic spell you cast_

_This is la vie en rose_

"If I asked you to take me to the Eiffel Tower tomorrow, would you do it?" I mumbled quietly.

Bodies were leaving the dance floor as the tempo slowed. A few couples were left under the dim lights. Carlisle turned us towards the center of the floor. He rested his cheek against the top of my head. I felt him sigh.

I wasn't sure, but it sounded like a happy sigh.

"If you wanted to spend the next year at the top of the Eiffel Tower, I'd be up there with you." He said quietly. "So you can take that as a yes."

_When you kiss me heaven sighs_

_And though I close my eyes_

_I see la vie en rose_

"Really?" I lifted my head and grinned at him. Under the dim, gold lights, he looked he was glowing. The edges of his face were a little blurry and I felt my feet becoming less and less stable beneath me. Carlisle's embrace kept me steady. I leaned closer into him.

"Of course," He said sincerely.

I ducked my head into his neck and closed my eyes, breathing deeply as he continued to sway us. The music played on.

_When you press me to your heart_

_I'm in a world apart_

_A world where roses bloom_

As we danced, I opened my eyes over Carlisle's shoulder and saw Solenne watching us from a far corner of the room. She had a tiny smile on her lips. Her eyes looked like they'd be glistening if they could still form tears.

I was confused as to why. The room was spinning so I closed my eyes again.

_And when you speak angels sing from above_

_Everyday words seem to turn into love songs_

"What was in those drinks?" Carlisle asked playfully, as I stumbled against him. "And you only had two. No more drinking for you."

I kept my face nuzzled into his neck and chuckled once. "I suppose not." My arms felt heavy and my face felt flushed. It was soothing having Carlisle's cool embrace surrounding me.

"If anyone asks to dance with you," I said abruptly, "Tell them no. Tell them… tell them we're together. And I don't want to share you." A giggle burst through my lips before I was even sure what I was laughing at. I wrapped my arms tighter around him.

Carlisle's throat vibrated against me as he chuckled. "I'll be sure to. And as every man in this room is staring at you, I feel obliged to say that you have to do the same."

"I don't see them." I breathed. "I don't see anyone else in this room but you."

_Give your heart and soul to me_

_And life will always be_

_La vie en rose_

The music was fading to a slow end. I righted myself, loosening my arms slightly from around his neck, but Carlisle's hands still gripped my waist close against his body. We slowed our swaying as the music finished off and for a brief moment under the dim lights, we locked gazes.

I saw straight into his ochre eyes and for a moment I swore I could see the whole world.

"I need some air."

I noted the dazed look in his eyes as Carlisle nodded in agreement.

The balcony faced out the back of the Sauvage quarters, into the trees surrounding the property. In preparation for tonight, someone had draped a length of golden lights over the trees closest to the balcony. They swirled up the trunks and drifted off the limbs, looking like a million tiny fireflies. I leaned over the balcony railing, striving to touch them.

"Easy, does it."

Carlisle had come up behind me and grasped my waist, pulling me from the plunge I'd been about to take. He righted me and I swayed a little, feeling shaky on my feet. The whole scene was slightly blurry and I gripped the front of his shirt to keep me steady.

With one arm still holding me up, Carlisle removed his jacket and laid it on the tiled balcony floor. He aided me into a sitting position on the ground and I plopped down unceremoniously, leaning my back against the railing for support. I closed my eyes to keep myself from getting too dizzy. It was dawning on me that I probably shouldn't have downed those drinks right after one another.

Carlisle sat down alongside me, his shoulder allowing me a place to rest my head. My face still felt flushed.

"I don't wanna go back inside." I mumbled, eyes still closed. "I feel too hot and the waiter got me tipsy."

"Then we won't go back inside." Carlisle laughed. "But the waiters here really do need to have a little shame. Coercing an innocent girl into drinking, I'm disgusted." He clucked his tongue.

"Oh, shut up." I mumbled through a chuckle. "Guess I don't handle alcohol well. How was I supposed to know?"

I opened my eyes and leaned my head back all the way against the railing. I stared up into the sky above us. The night time darkness was dense and dark but above, the lights of tiny stars weaved their way through the blackness and twinkled down on us. It felt like they were each winking a thousand times. A cool breeze fluttered past my face, blowing a few strands of hair across my eyes.

Carlisle's hand pushed them away almost immediately. I turned to see him watching me. The light in his face reminded me of the tiny stars above and I reached out to touch the cool plane of his cheek.

"Give me my Romeo." I said quietly, recalling the passage from my scrambled mind. "And when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars. And he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night."

He smiled serenely. "You are a curious creature, Bella Swan."

"Hm," I smirked. "How so?"

He ran a hand through my curls. "Only Bella Swan quotes Shakespeare when she's drunk."

"I'm not drunk!" I insisted, "And now we're even. One Shakespearean compliment for the each of us."

Carlisle saw the persistence in my face and laughed. "Alright Bella, we're even then."

I replaced my head on his shoulder. Our breathing fell in sync. "Did you mean what you said, by the way?" I inquired, breaking the silence.

"About what?"

"The Eiffel Tower. Will you really take me tomorrow?" I hoped he couldn't hear the pleading in my voice.

"A Cullen never goes back on their word." Carlisle said with a smile, nudging me. "So yes, we'll go to the Eiffel Tower tomorrow. We can spend the whole day if you want. But only if you promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"You will not lean over the railing like that at the top of Tower, okay?"

"Aw shucks," I said mock-seriously. "That was the plan."

"Really," He said, taking my hand and squeezing it. "I promised you adventures, didn't I? That first night. And like I said, a Cullen-"

"Never goes back on their word." I finished.

"Exactly."

Music had started up again inside the hall and though I felt tempted to rejoin the party, the seclusion out on the balcony seemed more favourable. The cool wind supplemented the heat in my cheeks and it seemed to be one of those intoxicating nights you simply had to spend outside.

More steadily now, I rose to my feet and extended a hand to Carlisle.

"Monsieur Cullen," I imitated in my very best French accent, "Will you do me the favor and dance with me?"

"Here?" He gestured, laughing.

"Well, where else?" I asked mischievously, and pulled on his arm. Carlisle rose to his feet and shaking his head while still chuckling, bowed and offered his arm.

"The pleasure is mine, Mademoiselle Swan."

I bit back a grin and curtsied before accepting his outstretched arm. From where we stood, we could just hear the soft melody of the music. Carlisle began to lead us in a slow waltz.

The stars twinkled down and the music played on through one, two, three more songs. Carlisle and I stayed outside on the balcony as we danced, laughing and twirling under the golden lights of the trees, with only our shadows to dance alongside us.

* * *

**Review? :)**


	9. Fine Mind

**A/N: ****Yeah, I know... I SUCK at updates. Would it help that I'm actually sorry? :)**

* * *

"If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark"

- I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab For Cutie

Chapter Nine

Fine Mind

I was bleeding.

The blood pooled at the tip of my finger then ran down my hand like a scarlet rivulet before staining the sleeve of my shirt. More blood began to pool again but before it could run, I shoved my throbbing finger under the running faucet. The water in the sink was stained with red instantly. I squeezed my eyes closed.

"Oh God," I gulped air through my mouth. The sight of blood was enough to get me immediately woozy. "Oh God, oh God. Yuck."

I flicked the faucet off with my other hand and grabbed a wad of toilet paper, creating a makeshift bandage for my stinging finger. The cut felt deep; I was almost positive stitches were in order.

"Carlisle." I said evenly, knowing he'd hear me from wherever he was in the room. "Carlisle, I need you. Emergency."

I could really be an idiot sometimes. I had come stumbling in here first thing this morning looking for an Advil or anything that would ease the fierce headache I'd contracted, when I had cut my finger. I didn't want to call what I had a _hangover_; a hangover would have been preceded by copious drinking, and I remembered clearly enough that I'd only had two drinks. Two strong as hell drinks, but _two_ nonetheless. Immediately, I had headed for my makeup bag where I was sure I must have some painkillers, and while thrashing around in there blindly, I'd pierced my finger on a pair of scissors.

Right, forgot I'd packed those.

Next thing I knew, my finger was in pain, there was a river of blood running down my hand and I was standing, eyes closed, with a clump of reddening toilet paper around my finger. Typical day in the life of Isabella Swan, move along please.

The door was pushed open tentatively. "Bella?"

"Come in, Carlisle. Don't look so nervous, either. Just a bleeding finger, no girl problems."

Carlisle stepped inside, shaking his head. "I was afraid you needed me to get you tampons or something. Sorry, Bella, but I'm hopeless at that sort of thing. Wouldn't know where to start."

He chuckled and approached me, then clucked his tongue softly upon seeing my hand. Slowly, he unravelled my mummified finger and ran it under the faucet again, washing away the tiny pieces of paper that had stuck to the cut.

"How disappointing, _Doctor_." I smirked, "Medical degree and the man can't navigate his way around tampons! That's shameful," I teased.

Carlisle was assessing the cut. He didn't lift his eyes to meet mine but smirked nonetheless. "If you are forgetting, none of the women I live with have that problem. Never had to deal with it and I'm biding my time hoping I never will."

I shook my head but laughed. Anything to keep my focus off the blood and the smell and the stinging…

"What a _guy._"

He looked up and met eyes with me. I was immediately reminded of the night before. The two of us dancing under the moonlight, the cool touch of his hands on my bare arms. My stomach squirmed a little with warmth.

"How do you manage to do these things to yourself, Bella?" He asked gently. "I think you're going to need stitches."

I braced my good hand on his shoulder and pushed myself up on the counter. "Get it over with, Doc," I teased, feigning bravery. "I'd like the use of my hand back, please."

He touched a hand lightly to my waist before pulling open the door and stepping out of the small bathroom. "Let me just get my medical bag."

Carlisle returned a moment later, medical bag in hand. "Well, this feels like déjà vu, doesn't it?" He asked with a smile.

"I think there might have been more blood last time. And I vaguely remember a piano."

Carlisle set to work. I avoided looking at my hand as best as I could, so to distract myself, I contented my thoughts in watching him work. His golden eyes were focused and keen, his hair shone in the fluorescent bathroom light. A strand fell forward over his eyes and I reached my good hand over, brushing it away in a sweeping gesture.

Carlisle raised his head and met eyes with me again. A small smile was playing on his lips. He opened his mouth to speak but just then his cell phone rang.

Timidly, I reached into his pant pocket and plucked out the tiny silver phone. Carlisle, as he was busy with his hands, nodded for me to answer it. I turned the phone over and checked the caller ID.

"It's Edward." I said blankly.

Carlisle raised his head again, and this time his eyes were flat.

"Answer it."

I pressed the "Receive Call" button and lifted the phone to my ear hesitantly.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" Edward sounded pleasantly surprised. I could hear the smile in his voice. It made my stomach turn again guiltily. "Hello, love. How are you?"

"Fine." I said slowly. "How are… how are things there?"

He paused for a moment, noticing the odd tone of my voice, before answering me again. "Not all that great, to be honest with you. Is everything alright with you?"

I mentally scolded myself for being a terrible actress. "I just… um, well, I kind of sliced my finger open this morning. Carlisle is stitching me up as we speak."

I heard him sigh heavily. "Bella," He chided, "I send you away to keep you safe and you end up getting hurt anyway."

Brief anger flared in me at the words "send you away". Edward knew how much his decision-making on my part frustrated me and still it seemed he was just fine with mentioning it, even after our conversation before I'd left. Carlisle had noticed me stiffen and looked up worriedly. I shook my head and curled my foot around his leg. The bracing touch lessened my brief anger and I visibly relaxed.

"Yeah, sorry." I mumbled. "I'm not good with coordination and all that, it was bound to happen. Anyway, you were saying? Things there aren't going well?"

Carlisle looked up again. He was placing a bandage over my stitches. I hadn't even noticed him finish.

Edward sighed again, and I was thankful he hadn't heard the slight steel in my voice. "It's Victoria. This hunt for her… it's not going too well. Seems like it's been dragging on a lifetime."

Carlisle was listening intently, his keen hearing picking up on Edward's words. He slowly packed up his bag while keeping an ear on our conversation.

"You still haven't caught Victoria?" I didn't have to fake the fear in my voice. "Where is she?"

"We don't know." Edward replied softly. It was a tiny bit strange to me that a whole coven of vampires had still not been able to hunt down one other, no matter how fast or smart she was. It made me think something was wrong with the whole picture, that something was worrisome. The Cullens were all talented and strong… if they couldn't catch her, who would?

I could hear the mounting stress in his voice as he spoke again. "It almost seems like… like she's left. Gone somewhere else, to haunt another forest. I don't know what it is, Bella. We haven't even had a glimpse of her for three days, usually she'll turn up to at least bait us if nothing else. It's the silence that worries me most of all. Like the eerie calm before a storm."

"And Alice?" I asked through a dry throat, "Alice can't see her?"

"Alice is incapacitated." He replied, his voice getting only tenser. "She can't see anything."

"What?" I asked, horrified.

"That's what makes this whole situation even worse. Alice's power seems like it's been flickering on and off for a while now. And just yesterday… nothing. She's blind."

Carlisle was staring at the phone in shock. His hands were grasping the fabric of my pants tightly. He made no motion to take the phone from me so I held onto it with a shaking hand to my ear.

Edward continued. "Bella, we don't know where Victoria is. If Alice is blind… then we're blind too. We won't find her."

"Oh my God." It was all I could say.

Edward seemed to want to say more. "It's Alice that is stressing me out most of all. Can a vampire just lose their powers? I wanted to ask Carlisle about that, see if he had any insight."

I looked up at Carlisle, still frozen in shock. I raised an eyebrow, silently asking if he had anything to say about it and very slightly, he shook his head.

"He's shaking his head." I replied slowly, "I don't think he knows."

Edward sighed heavily.

"What did you mean," I inquired hesitantly, "about Alice's vision flickering for the past few days?"

"She just kept complaining about one vision. Said it kept bothering her, blocking out her other visions, making it hard to see. She couldn't tell what it meant though. That frustrated her most of all."

I remembered Alice pulling me away at the airport, warning me of an indistinct vision she'd had of losing me…

"Did she say what it was about?" I asked hoarsely.

Edward was silent. "She didn't say. But I caught a glimpse of it once."

"And?"

"It was about you."

I gulped. Carlisle's eyes were trained on mine.

"But…" Edward said unsurely, "I think she's just exhausted herself. We've been hounding her to anticipate Victoria's every move and to make sure you and Carlisle are safe in Paris. It might have been too much for her. Her vision's probably just on a break."

He chuckled awkwardly.

We both knew vampires didn't "exhaust" themselves. But Edward was lying to me, hoping to abate my worry and probably his own with unfounded excuses.

The both of us knew why he was lying. I think there was a part of him, a part like me, that worried what exactly those blurry visions of me had held that could cause Alice Cullen to go blind.

* * *

"I don't know, Carlisle. I don't feel right about this." I was worrying the sleeve of my jacket between my fingers, picking at the loose threads.

He slid an arm over my shoulders easily, bracing me. "We don't have to go," He stated simply, "We can stay in. Talk about it if you like."

The weather was less mild out today, and the slight chill in the air penetrated the cold guilt already taking council in my chest. The breeze picked up slightly and ruffled my hair around my face. Carlisle smoothed it out of my eyes and watched me warily.

"Whatever it is that has you so rattled… you can confide in me, Bella." He said earnestly. I found sincerity in his golden eyes and felt oddly guilty.

"It's just Alice," I replied wearily. This half-truth would hopefully abate him. I didn't enjoy lying to Carlisle but Alice had explicitly told me that this specific piece of information _had_ to stay between the two of us…

Of course, that was before she'd lost her sight. Things were different now, I reasoned. Things were serious. Victoria was running loose and the Cullens were essentially incapacitated in their search for her. Maybe if I confided in Carlisle then he'd help. He'd fix Alice.

I bite down hard on the lip I hadn't been aware I'd been chewing on. I tasted the iron flavour of blood on my tongue and felt even sicker than before. If this was all my fault…

"Bella," Carlisle chided softly, rubbing the blood from my lip with his thumb. "Alice will be alright. We'll find out what's wrong and she'll be fine. I promise."

The dancing honesty that swam in his eyes usually was nonexistent. His voice was slightly hard, as though he was trying to convince both himself and I that this outcome would be imminent.

"She won't, Carlisle." I whispered, hearing the disparity in my voice. "She's lost her sight. And it's all my fault."

I felt the tears well up in my eyes and I shifted my gaze downwards, to avoid having to meet his. Carlisle's hand stiffened slightly on my shoulder and I could sense his muscles tighten. He was bracing himself for something terrible. I'd seen this same set of his muscles in lieu of attack, similar to the night he'd defended me against Sebastian. He sensed that there was something underlying, something destructive, and was preparing for the worst.

"What do you know, Bella?" He said softly, his voice in sharp contrast to his stance. "Darling, what is it you know?"

I looked back up at him, the wind cooling the spots on my cheeks where the tears had fallen. Carlisle's eyes burned, not with anger but with something more fierce. It was a protective burn. He was readying himself to protect Alice and his family against these unknown dangers. The Cullen patriarch in him glowed fiercely through.

A sharp blare of a car horn sounded behind us and Carlisle turned: the taxi had arrived. He deliberated for a moment and then looked back at me.

"Stay here, Bella. I'll need a moment."

I watched him hurry to the driver and begin explaining something in rapid French. By the looks of it, the driver wasn't happy but Carlisle slipped him a roll of bills and thanked the man before reapproaching me. The taxi man rolled up his window and sped away from the hotel, turning at the light before disappearing down the street the opposite way he'd come.

"You sent him away?" I asked dumbfounded, more for something to say than in actual inquiry.

Carlisle grasped my hand, and rubbed a thumb along the back of it reassuringly. "No, he's coming back. Only he's bringing someone with him this time."

"Who?"

"That doesn't matter now, Bella," He said evasively, "What matters is you. You have something you need to tell me."

He didn't press me any further until I nodded in agreement.

"Would you like to go back upstairs?" He asked gently, "We'll order some room service for you and we can settle on the couch where you can tell me everything at your speed."

I tentatively returned his smile. "Alright," I conceded.

He pulled me back inside the hotel doors, kissing the back of my hand he was gripping as he did so, and led us into an awaiting elevator. I watched with some longing the elevator doors slide shut on the scene before us. I held back a somewhat selfish inward sigh.

I had been so looking forward to seeing the Eiffel Tower.

* * *

Once we were settled on the couch in our suite's living room, with my room service in tow, Carlisle went quiet, watching me. Waiting.

He allowed me the time I needed to gather my thoughts before I spoke. I chewed around a morsel of food and swallowed thickly. It was the guilt, it was working it's way up my throat slowly, making it hard to swallow. I wanted to vomit.

"Um, so." I cleared my throat. I put my fork down on the plate and looked down at my fingers. "Alice told me something. Before… before we came here."

Carlisle touched my hand, bringing my eyes back up to him. "I won't judge you, love. Alice is your best friend and you have loyalties to her. If she asked you to keep something from me, it shows no stain on your character to have obeyed."

I nodded, the thick feeling arising in my throat again. "It's not you though, Carlisle. It's everyone. She even tried to hide it from Edward."

He raised an eyebrow but did not comment.

"She had the first vision right before we left." I said shakily, "I don't know what it was about exactly, I only know what she told me and it wasn't all that much. But… from what it sounds like, the visions Edward described seem to be the same one she told me about."

"So she continued to have the vision even after we left?" Carlisle murmured, somewhat to himself. "Visions that repeat so often have a strong potency. Alice has told me a little of how her sight works."

"Really? What did she say?"

"Often that which repeats has a stronger likelihood to unfold." Carlisle explained, "You know her sight is subjective. It depends on the choices of those directly involved or of those indirectly involved… any slight change in intention can completely alter the vision. But those that stay permanent, unchanging, mean the decision has already been made. Even it's unconscious."

"So you're saying that I've already made this decision, whatever it is, unconsciously? And if this vision's been repeated… well, it means that the likelihood of it happening is almost one hundred percent."

He nodded slowly.

And odd feeling of dread settled in my stomach. I picked up what was left of my food and placed it on the coffee table, feeling too sick to finish. I brought my knees to chest and curled myself into a ball protectively.

Carlisle's eyes softened and he beckoned me over to his side of the couch. I obliged, craving his safeness and settled into his lap. He rubbed a cool finger along my arm and held me closely.

"Bella, you need to tell me what Alice saw." He prodded gently, "It's the only way we'll know for sure what happened to her sight."

I took a breath and closed my eyes. "It wasn't a clear vision," I said, my voice sounding stronger than I felt. "It was abstract from what I could tell, and that frustrated her. She kept saying that she had the premonition that she was going to lose me. That Edward would lose me."

Carlisle's grip tightened slightly around me and he pulled me closer into his chest.

"She didn't mean death. She just felt like something was going to change drastically for everyone. That this change would be what brought about losing me. She didn't know how or why."

Carlisle's voice was hard when he spoke.

"That was all she said?"

"That was it."

He was silent and contemplative for a moment. Then he raised a finger and tentatively turned my head to look at him.

"I want you to understand something, Bella." He said firmly, "Nothing is going to happen to you. Nothing. Not while I am here protecting you. I need you to understand that."

"I do," I said softly.

"Do you?" He challenged. "I need to know you believe me, Bella. That you put your faith in me. I promise you I will do everything I can to keep you safe. I swear it vehemently. Do you understand?"

There was a desperate ardor in his voice. I touched his cheek.

"I _trust _you, Carlisle."

He kissed the side of my head and pulled me closer into him. "Thank you for telling me, Bella." He said softly, "I know it was hard to betray her trust."

"I just want her to get better, Carlisle." I admitted in a small voice. "I need her to be okay."

"I know, Bella," He murmured against my hair. "Me too."

Carlisle eventually coaxed me into finishing my food, but I ate lounging in his lap. The security of his embrace kept me grounded as I tried to push off this nagging fear plaguing me. I vaguely watched what was happening on the television screen before me. Everything was in French and though Carlisle explained the jokes to me as he chuckled lightly from time to time, I couldn't keep my whole focus as my brain whirred about other things.

What exactly had Alice's vision meant? It still made little sense to me. I was going to be lost to the Cullens, to Alice and Edward especially. Death was not the cause. There was a change coming, something drastic. The clues were all there… but the big picture was still a frustrating blur. How was I to make sense of this?

And worst of all, if Carlisle was right and I assumed he was, I'd already made the subconscious decision that triggered these events, and I wasn't even aware of it. It was all set in stone, a train wreck on course to occur and there was no changing it. Because of me and my stupid subconscious decision making, Alice was blind to her sight. The guilt was creeping up again like bile.

There was a light knock on the door and I glanced towards Carlisle with a questioning look. I wasn't expecting anyone.

He smiled tightly and manoeuvred me off of him as he lifted himself off the couch and towards the door. I heard Carlisle pull it open and greet the visitor.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice, I'm afraid it is a bit of an emergency."

"It's no problem, Sir," The quiet voice answered. I pictured a boy of maybe eighteen or nineteen. "Anneliese was insistent in my assisting you. Said you were a dear friend."

"Anneliese is too kind," I could hear the appreciative smile in Carlisle's voice, "Do come in."

Carlisle's footsteps approached the living room again, followed by a light tread. The visitor followed him in as I sat up and waited.

"Bella, you know Nicholas," Carlisle gestured at our guest as they made their way in.

I nodded, remembering the silent Sauvage boy who'd attended the doors last time we'd visited. He stood behind Carlisle slightly, his dark hair in sharp contrast to his skin in the dim lighting.

"Hello Nicholas," I said in greeting. He didn't seem intent on talking too much and nodded in response. I wondered vaguely how he and Sebastian had been friends.

"Sit down, if you'd like," Carlisle offered, gesturing to the loveseat across from us.

Nicholas seemed to deliberate for a moment then sat down tentatively, placing himself on the very edge of the sofa seat. He watched Carlisle place himself beside me and take my hand unconsciously with curious eyes.

"Sorry about the vague message," Carlisle laughed, breaking the silence. "I very well couldn't tell the driver our real problem and hoped vehemently the Anneliese would understand the urgency through his words."

"It's no problem, Sir," He repeated. "But I must ask, why send for me?"

"I'm afraid you are the only one who may be able to help our situation. Or help understand it at least." Carlisle explained sadly.

Nicholas nodded stiffly, allowing him to properly explain.

"One of our coven in Washington is clairvoyant. She sees the future in the form of random, sporadic visions." Carlisle took a deliberate breath, steadying himself. "However, her sight is subjective; they depend on people's choices and as those change, the visions do as well."

Nicholas nodded again but his eyebrows were pulled together. "With all due respect, you may be mistaken, Sir. I have no experience with clairvoyants."

"I'm aware, Nicholas, not to worry," Carlisle assured him. "There's more to this. Alice, it seems, has had some troubles with a particular vision concerning Bella, here." He indicated towards me. I ducked my head just a little under Nicholas' gaze.

"It kept repeating itself, over and over. It was never a clear picture, just abstract pieces of information strung together. We have no idea how the vision will come about, or when, just that the events will play out some way or another."

Nicholas watched Carlisle intently, nodding again to affirm that he understood.

"This morning we received a call from my son, Edward." Carlisle's voice was tense again. "Alice is incapacitated. He said the vision kept repeating itself until she just went blind to her sight. It seems she's lost her power and we don't how or why or when it's coming back, if at all."

Carlisle held Nicholas' gaze steadily. The latter had gone still, the way humans did when experiencing shock.

I blinked once and he had dissipated from my gaze. Looking around the room confusedly, my eyes rested on Carlisle, who had stood up just as quickly without my noticing. He was gazing towards the back of the suite and through the open door of my bedroom, where I could see that the glass door of the balcony had hastily been pulled open.

Carlisle gestured for me to follow him. Together, we stepped out onto the cool balcony tiles and found Nicholas resting his elbows against the railing, his head hung dejectedly in his hands.

"Nicholas," Carlisle prodded, not unkindly, "I'm afraid you know why I've called on you now. I'm so sorry to have to ask, even Anneliese had never wanted to question you, but we really need to know all we can about this. Alice… she's our family's heart. We need to help her."

"You can do nothing," Nicholas said, his voice sounding hollow and small. "Her sight is gone. There is _nothing_ you can do."

Carlisle's face crumpled slightly and he stepped deliberately towards Nicholas, gripping his arm. "Please, tell us what you know. If there is something or even nothing, as you say, I can do about this, then I need to _know_ at least. Please."

Nicholas pried his eyes open and lifted his head slowly, almost painfully, gazing at Carlisle intently.

Carlisle's face was a gut-wrenching mixture of pain and worry, and I even sensed a fear brewing beneath his collected surface. He was trying so hard to keep it together, to play the role of coven leader, that I knew he needed any form of salvation. I sidled up behind him and slipped my hand into his palm. He gripped it appreciatively.

Nicholas heaved a sigh and nodded slightly. "Very well… I will tell you what I can. But I can guarantee I will not be of much help in this matter, as you very well know, my circumstance is no less grim than that of your Alice."

"Wait," I interrupted, a realization dawning on me. "You mean you…"

"Yes." Nicholas replied firmly. "I, like Alice, lost my powers many decades ago. And tried furiously though I might have, they have never returned. I have come to the discouraging conclusion that they never will."

I tried to cover my shock. "So Alice-"

"Alice had better learn to live without her powers, and fast. The longer she tries to hold onto them, the more destructive the situation will become."

"Destructive?" Carlisle repeated slowly.

"Yes." Nicholas looked away again, down at his hands. "Destructive of others, her family, her mate especially. And… destructive of herself. She could go insane. She could go numb. And if she is so dependant of this clairvoyance as I expect she is… she could very well destroy herself. What I mean to say is-"

"She could die." I said numbly, ice building its way around my ribcage, making it hard to breathe. "Alice could die."

Nicholas nodded once grimly. "Yes," He repeated, "Alice could die."

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**Review?** **:)**


	10. Fear Revisited

**A/N: Okay guys, fresh start? I'm delving back into this with a clean slate. I really, really am going to _make_ time to update this story. Believe me, I have the plot worked out, scenes have been written but I just need to get my head straight and do this. Exams are in two weeks for me and after that, I am devoting everything to this story. I really want to finish it and we've still got a ways to go! Please bear with me guys. Thank you to everyone who kindly PM'ed me, urging me to finish! Your words mean everything to me. **

**So as a peace offering, here's this chapter. I'm pretty sure it's the longest one yet. Love you all dearly. Enjoy!  
**

**P.S. This story is still primarily a romance. A lot of plot stuff going on here but I promise, the C/B of it all is coming. I like to take my time with these things!  
**

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"No dark,

No day,

I'm always in this twilight."

- Cosmic Love by Florence and the Machine

Chapter Ten

Fear Revisited

The tiny silver teaspoon shook in my hand as I idly stirred my tea. The metal struck against the porcelain cup again, vocalizing my nerves, and I attempted a few steadying breaths, hoping the shaking in my hands would subside.

I could hear Nicholas and Carlisle murmuring in the sitting room. We'd relocated back inside the suite from the balcony and I'd momentarily excused myself, telling Carlisle I'd wanted to make some tea to warm up.

There was some truth there, I pondered, slowly stirring my tea. My body was most certainly cold and shivery, though it had less to do with the chilly Paris air and more to do with our current predicament. The spoon struck the cup once more as my hand shook; another small _ding _sang out.

"Are you alright, Bella?"

I turned suddenly to face my visitor, forgetting the teacup in my hand and spilling the beverage over the white kitchen tiles. Carlisle watched me worriedly.

"Bella, sweetheart?"

"I- yes." I ran a flustered hand through my hair and bent down to retrieve my remarkably unscathed tea cup. Carlisle's hand shot out before I could reach it and gripped the cup. Slowly, I straightened up to meet his eyes.

He'd worked fast; Carlisle was already boiling more water on the stove, a wash cloth in hand. He wrung out my fallen tea from the sodden rag over the sink and looked at me concernedly. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, Carlisle. Yeah. I'm.. good. I'm fine."

My shaky voice had clearly not convinced either of us.

"You've been making tea for fifteen minutes," He chuckled, pouring the hot water over a new tea bag. "I was worried you'd forgotten how to use the stove."

I attempted a small laugh. "Yeah. Um… yeah." I chuckled awkwardly.

He looked up and placed a fresh cup of tea in my clammy hands. I revelled in the warmth of the liquid and let the heat seep up through my hands and into my core. Carlisle kissed me on my forehead.

"Nicholas is waiting for you so he can start," Carlisle reminded me gently.

I nodded stiffly, slowly following him back into the sitting room. Carlisle looked back at me and smiled, warmth radiating in his eyes as he gazed down at me.

"Hey," He touched my cheek. "We're figuring this out. It'll be fine. Nicholas will help us, Bella."

I tried to forget what Nicholas had just said out on the balcony and about Carlisle being unable to do anything about the situation. The sincerity and sheer determination in his eyes was so genuine, I couldn't even place the thought of failure in my mind.

"I know," I said, mustering up my courage. "Everything's going to be fine."

He smiled and turned his back to me again. The smile tugged down on my lips, wanting to settle back into a determined frown but I forced the docile hopefulness I'd been projecting for Carlisle.

Nicholas was waiting, as patiently as ever, as we took our original seats on the loveseat couch. I sidled up to Carlisle and braced my body against his arm. The feeling of safeness returned and I visibly relaxed.

"Whenever you'd like, Nicholas," Carlisle gestured, "We're all ears."

Nicholas nodded slowly and stood, pacing the carpet slowly.

"It happened in 1931. The midst of the Great Depression…" His voice took on a faintly reminiscent tone. "I'd been turned three years prior by an older vampire named Tobias. He'd found me working one night on my family's farm. We were Southerners… Had a beautiful place down in Texas." Nicholas smiled faintly.

"He'd meant to kill me, I think. I remember his eyes had been so _black_. He'd looked at me and said: 'You're the one.' Then, he'd pounced. I didn't even know what was happening to me. I kept yelling out and screaming for help but I'd been working the fields late that night and I was alone. My family wouldn't have had a clue." Nicholas didn't seem bothered by this violent memory. He was speaking slowly but almost as if he was detached from the tale, as if it were some other person in the story.

"He'd turned me. I never did get a straight answer from him as to why he'd stopped feeding and let me transition into the Change… My best guess even now is loneliness. Tobias told me later that he'd been alone for two centuries."

Carlisle was looking past Nicholas blankly. There was a sad detachment playing on his face. It looked as if he was reminiscing on his own time alone, before he'd changed Edward…

"Tobias left me in a nearby ditch until the Change subsided and then came to collect me. He'd helped me with my hunting and all the trials of my new life and I, in turn, gave him good companionship. We were an odd pair; Tobias was so different than I, he was refined where I was simple. Had a taste for finer things, he did. Tobias even liked to hunt 'nobler' blood… The rich, the whites. I was fine with anyone as long as they had blood in them."

Nicholas chuckled somewhat darkly and I observed him closely, noticing the nostalgic tone in his voice as he thought of his former companion.

"My talent had made itself known almost immediately after the Change. It was a peculiar thing. At first I hadn't even realized what I could do, until Tobias had let on to my gift and told me it wasn't the norm." Nicholas heaved a sigh. "Compulsion. I could will people to do things. Humans, vampires and I even suspected animals, though I can't say I tried too hard with them."

"You could control minds?" I inquired.

"Yes.. And no." He replied wearily, "It was not so much about actually controlling a person's thoughts and processes, more about forcing them to believe they _wanted _to do what I asked of them. It came quite naturally. My power manifested itself through speech mostly. I felt as if I was simply convincing someone to do something I wanted. I'd always been persuasive even as a human, but I soon began to feel the control that came with it. I must admit, it answered many questions about how I'd convinced Tobias into our crazier schemes in my first year."

"Did you learn to harness the power? Use it at will?" Carlisle leaned forwards, genuinely interested.

"Eventually, yes." Nicholas answered patiently, "Tobias had helped me quite a fair amount, to be honest. He was my guinea pig."

Nicholas chuckled hollowly. His eyes glazed over and he took a pause in his speech, as if steadying himself. I could nearly feel his tension in the air around us; he was getting closer to the apex of his tale.

"Tobias was a friend. A good friend." Nicholas said firmly. It almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself. "But he was an opportunist. Always looking for ways to help himself; make his existence easier.

"He figured that my talent had manifested itself from tendencies in my human life. I'd agreed, like I said, I knew I'd even been convincing and influential before the Change…But Tobias was thinking differently. He'd had his _theories_ about the manifestation of vampire superpowers in general, as it were." Nicholas' gaze was far away now, his features settling into harder angles. "Tobias thought that powers manifested in a person in their human life and therefore, that person's blood line carried the trait."

"What you mean to say," Carlisle interjected, his analytical tendencies preceding his courtesy, "Tobias believed that a person with a latent trait in their human life, was likely to have other family members with the same dormant power?"

"Yes. And no." Nicholas supplied patiently, "He believed that families with one latent trait were likely to yield more traits in immortal life, but he didn't filter it down to one specific power. Me having the power of Compulsion did not necessarily mean others in my family would too; just that they were more likely to yield any enhanced abilities at all in comparison to, say, a talent less vampire's human family."

"Hm," Carlisle sat back thoughtfully, his face taking on a pensive expression. "Interesting."

The conversation trailed off as both men wondered on the musings of Nicholas' former mentor. As odd and interesting as the theory was, now was no time to ponder it. A nagging feeling like the filtering of an hourglass was weighing on me and I knew Alice had little time. I cleared my throat.

"Nicholas," I prodded, "You were saying?"

"Ah yes," He snapped his back up and Carlisle broke out of his stupor. "Yes, I was saying… Well, Tobias was convinced of his contrived theory and decided to act on it. He wanted to Change all of my family, one by one. And he wanted me to do it."

A small, mortified gasp escaped my lips. "What?"

Nicholas nodded mutely. "He was _positive_ the others would yield powers as useful, or more useful, than mine and was determined to create a powerful coven of his own. He wanted us at his discretion, his disposal, and I was too blind to see it. Tobias fed me many convincing explanations and soon, I'd agreed. The first 'experiment' was to be my younger brother, Walter."

I held back a mortified whimper.

"We watched my family's farm for a week, trying to find the best way to get Walter alone. Turned out, he had taken over my duties in the fields and often worked late, until it got dark out. My father was usually close by, after my disappearance I assume, but we waited until the one night he left early and Walter was alone. All we'd need was five minutes, and the job would be done."

Carlisle was still and attentive at my side, searching Nicholas' face with wide eyes. I knew he understood all too well the conflicting emotions before spurring a Change. The boy before us had taken on a rigid, agitated posture. His features were contorted in distress as he considered the night he changed his brother.

"When I'd come out of the shadows and called his name, he began to cry. He told me how he thought I was dead. I remember he'd gripped my waist and sobbed into my shoulder. I could not bring myself to comfort him or touch him. The moment I submitted to that touch, I knew my resolve would break and I'd lunge for his throat. Tobias had guided me to starve before this kill. He said I'd enjoy it much more that way."

Nicholas was gripping the edge of the couch so hard I saw small tears forming in the fabric. Aside from this and his tense posture, he looked oddly collected. But at this close proximity, I could see the storm raging in his maroon eyes and it was frightening.

"Walter asked me why I felt and looked so different. I told him that I was better now, stronger. That he would be that way soon too. Tobias emerged from the shadows then, and touched my shoulder. I knew it was time. I looked my brother firmly in the eye and mustering all my powers, Compelled him not to scream or run, and to cooperate. His face had taken on the dazed look that accompanied Compulsion and without a thought, I lunged for his throat. But I'd overestimated myself. And things went terribly, horribly wrong."

I knew where this story was going from the turmoil unveiling in Nicholas' face. If he had been human, I was positive his throat would be closing with oncoming tears and his eyes filling all the same, but his perfect, velvet voice soldiered on and the grief remained raging inside him. My own eyes began to sting in what I could only assume was empathy.

"Walter was dead at my hands before Tobias even had the chance to stop me. He was ravaged. His blood stained my entire front. I remember lifting my pale, bloodstained hand in the moonlight and watching the blood drip to the ground…" His voice began to shake, "Then the bloodlust subsided and I looked down at the stiff, destroyed body at my feet. My younger brother…"

Nicholas buried his face in his hands and scraped his fingernails roughly down the sides. If his flesh had been human, the sheer force behind the action would have ripped the skin clean off his face, but the trail Nicholas' fingers left behind was unmaimed and the skin maintained a pearly opalescence. For the first time since he began to relay his story, his vulnerability was a spectacle for us to share with him.

I exchanged a sad glance with Carlisle and he reached out tentatively, placing a steadying hand on the boy's knee.

"Nicholas," He said softly, the gentle tone of his voice that I so admired ringing out in the tension, "It wasn't your fault. You were still a young vampire. Tobias was wrong to have forced you to change anyone, let alone your brother."

"It was, it _was_ my fault. Don't you see?" Nicholas glared up from between his fingers, "I killed my brother. I fed from my own flesh and blood. Regardless of any circumstance, it can't be forgiven."

Carlisle's back straightened perceptibly beside me and he leaned forward, prying Nicholas' hands from his face. The calm but authoritative set to his features reminded me of how he looked standing before his family. Before my eyes, he shifted into that strong coven leader who'd dealt with the many taxing and painful experiences his family had gone through. But now, instead of the other Cullens, that powerful gaze was trained on Nicholas.

"Nicholas," He said firmly, "A young vampire's mind is so altered in that first year that the person beneath the monster ceases to exist. The basic human parts of your rationality and functioning are almost completely blocked out. It takes _time_ to learn to curb your bloodlust in favor of rationality, it takes _time _to learn the basic morals of right and wrong when faced with your weakness. Walter appealed to your nature because he was food, not family."

Nicholas made a distressed sort of noise and tried to rebury his face in his hands again. Carlisle halted him in the action with a steady but firm grip.

"It's true, Nicholas, and it is nothing to feel remorse over. You were not yourself that first year and killing Walter was not something the human part of you could understand or control, if it tried. Your vampire rationality was all too straightforward and consuming."

_But _you_ could control yourself, _a small voice nudged in the back of my brain, _You didn't kill anyone your first year. Or any year after that, in fact._

Carlisle was a special case, I reminded myself proudly, countering that tiny voice. He was never just _any _vampire. Since he'd been changed, he'd held strong and fast to his human compassion and allowed that to commandeer him through his newborn year, instead of the all-consuming bloodlust.

Perhaps that kind of enhanced ability was better than any blatant "superpower" a vampire could develop. I certainly thought so.

Nicholas still looked unsure and overwhelmingly guilty but he seemed to draw strength from Carlisle's words. He nodded once firmly and ploughed on.

"That… that night changed me." He said, swallowing unnecessarily and picking at the loose threads of the couch fabric. "The moment I'd looked down at my brother's d- dead body… I was changed. Something inside me shifted and I couldn't explain _what _it was that caused my whole existence to shift. Tobias buried the body and helped me clean up in a nearby lake. As I bathed, he stole clothes from an adjacent house and we moved on from that town to the next. We didn't talk about the incident for many weeks.

"It wasn't until one night, when we were prowling dark, lonely alleys in the dead of night, that he brought it up… kind of. Tobias mentioned that he hadn't seen the use of my power lately and confessed he was worried about the lack of practice. I hadn't been killing with the same relish, he'd said." Nicholas paused, mulling over his former situation dejectedly. "I knew myself that I was different since that night and guessed it'd only be a matter of time before he'd realize as well. I told him that the tell-tale pull of the power was gone from inside me and he seemed shocked. Talents didn't just disappear."

I watched the sad detachment playing on Nicholas' face with worry. In my mind's eye, I saw Alice, small and scared, the same look playing on her features. I gulped down a heavy sense of guilt.

Nicholas, determined to finish the story, continued. "We tested it on many people. Tobias brought me a new victim night after night, and by the time we established my power's inexorable absence, I was exhausted from trying. There was something wrong with me, I knew. I had never encountered another vampire with powers, but I was certain by the way Tobias was treating this, that this was not something that had ever happened before. I began to feel not only like the monster since my brother's death, but a _useless_ and _incapable _monster. I could do nothing right."

Carlisle opened his mouth to refute the proclamation, but Nicholas' hands went up, silently begging Carlisle to let him finish.

"We established the loss of my powers without words and tried to move on in the same way we always had. But my sadness was weighing on Tobias and soon, we parted ways. He bid me goodbye in a small, Texas town and I remained behind for a few more weeks, hoping foolishly he might come back. He didn't.

"I decided to leave the state. Everything in Texas reminded me of the lost mentor, power and brother I'd once had. I began to run. I ran for days, stopping only to feed, until I reached the shoreline. Then I swam. The first border I reached was Portugal. Then Spain. Finally, I ran straight into France. It was only when I stopped to feed that I met the _Sauvages_. They showed me the proper way to hunt, to live, to survive. I've been with them ever since."

He looked up expectedly, waiting for a response from either of us with the ending of his story. Carlisle didn't speak up as I assumed he would so I seized the chance to ask Nicholas about something that had been nagging at me.

"I don't really understand," I piped up quietly. Nicholas' gaze turned to me expectantly. "What exactly made you lose your powers? Was it something to do with feeding on… on your brother? From your own flesh and blood?"

I regretted having to phrase it that way, but Nicholas didn't flinch and I took it as a good sign.

"Not in the way I think you mean. But yes." He ran a hand through his short, dark hair and sighed, delving back into his history. "Feeding from your family's blood doesn't render talents useless. That's what I thought, until I met the _Sauvages _and learned their stories. Other gifted vampires have fed from family, not intentionally of course, and their gifts are intact. So I began to question why I alone lost my power. I had to consider what made my circumstances different from theirs. I cannot say whether there is a concrete answer, but others have helped me develop this theory.

"I believe the great emotional upheaval of losing my brother was a key element. The fact that I was the one who took his life stretched it beyond… 'normal' grief. I was the one at fault and that itself played on my already heightened emotions. The grief went from difficult to simply unbearable. And I brought that upon myself. Secondly, the use of my power in the act. Compelling Walter and having that power in use as I killed him made my grief turn in on itself and target the power in its participation. That, I think is why my power disappeared. It was brought upon myself by my own grief."

"Grief?" Carlisle questioned unsurely, speaking up again. "That eliminated your powers?"

"Not just grief, Sir." Nicholas supplied ruefully, "A twisted, all-consuming and unbearable _form _of grief, where my blaming myself caused the emotion to turn in on my powers. My mental fragility allowed the weakness to target the strongest part of me. And it destroyed it."

Grief. Whatever Alice had seen in her visions of me was horrible and striking enough to cause her the same grief Nicholas experienced when he killed his brother. Whatever she saw had made her emotions turn on her powers until they existed no more. A odd chill settled over me at the thought and I was suddenly more afraid than ever.

What _had_ those visions been of? The anxiety was eating away at me.

Carlisle sensed my unease and draped a strong arm over my shoulders, reeling me in close.

"I see." He said, after a moment. "But I don't know how true that could be of Alice. Or any other vampire who has experienced this. We deal with grief all the time. Humans, vampires… myself included. When my son Edward dealt with a great… heartbreak, his grief was something akin to yours. But his power has remained intact."

Carlisle's mention of the year the Cullens left Forks served only to make my unease greater. I felt a tension headache beginning behind my eyelids and winced at the sudden, painful pressure.

"And then there's Marcus of course, of the Volturi," He continued, rubbing my shoulder. He'd noticed my discomfort. "Obviously he hasn't been the same since Didyme's death but his power remains intact as well."

Nicholas was nodding, having followed Carlisle's train of thought and was seemingly prepared with an answer.

"But there's a difference." He countered, "Their powers were asunder from the grief; disconnected from the incidents. Where Edward and Marcus are concerned, the grief surely affected their emotions, their state of living, but did not touch their power because the events were unconnected to them. Whereas Alice and I… well, the power is far too entwined with the circumstances to be left alone. My power was pivotal to the actual incident while Alice's is pivotal to the _viewing _of it. In a way… it's the same thing."

Carlisle fell silent. I could tell he didn't want to accept Alice's fate, but with Nicholas' words, the situation was becoming less and less favourable.

"So, what can we do?" I asked, without conviction, "How do we fix this?"

Nicholas' face took on a sad, understanding expression. "Bella, if I knew, I wouldn't be sitting before you, telling you this story."

I knew that, of course. But it seemed somehow wrong not to at least ask. Beside me, Carlisle sighed dejectedly.

A soft chiming filled the room as the silence wore on and Nicholas stood, pulling out a cell phone from his pocket.

"Excuse me, please." He glanced at the screen briefly. "It's Solenne, I'll only be a moment."

Carlisle stood as well, my tea cup in hand, and murmured a response. I watched the two men leave the room, Nicholas out to the back balcony and Carlisle back to kitchen. I lifted myself off the couch and followed the latter out of the room.

"Carlisle?"

Carlisle was standing at the sink, fingers gripping the edge of the counter, head bowed. He looked wrecked.

I walked forwards and lightly touched the small of his back with my fingertips. The stiffness in his muscles softened minutely at the touch and taking it as an assurance, I carefully wrapped my arms around his torso, burying my face in his back. A cool hand engulfed one of mine and we stood silently for a moment, gathering strength from the other.

"I'm sorry."

Carlisle's hand gripped mine harder. "Stop, Bella."

"No matter what you say," I mumbled petulantly into his shirt, "That vision was of me. Something I'm going to do will cause Alice and the others, and most likely you, a great deal of grief. And I'm sorry. I'm so much more trouble than I'm worth."

Carlisle untangled himself from my grasp and turned to face me. He placed two, strong hands on my shoulders, keeping me planted. Keeping me sane.

"You have an awful perception of what you're worth," He said softly, the harsh lines of tension in his face dropping.

"I don't think so," I leaned into his chest and he let his arms envelop me. "It's all so lucid to me. You and the family's sacrifices for me are too much, Carlisle."

I decided to abstain from telling him that those sacrifices weighed on my shoulders like Atlas and the Earth. The last thing I wanted from him right now was pity.

"We do it because we love you," He said vehemently, chin resting atop my head. "We are a family. We make sacrifices for each other. You are a part of that family, Bella, one way or the other."

I had to squeeze my eyes shut to stop them from filling. "Carlisle…"

He shushed me gently and stroked my hair. "Look at me."

I raised my head obediently and met his steady, warm gaze. The golden irises pierced mine with a comforting familiarity. He steeled himself for something.

"I… I know this is bad timing. But with all this happening, I don't know when I will get a chance to tell you this properly."

I nodded, watching Carlisle lick his lips intently.

"Bella, you know I care about you. A great, great deal." He smiled softly, the action just barely pulling at the corners of this mouth. My stomach flipped in anticipation of his next words. "And I… I _understand_ that our circumstances aren't ideal. What with Esme and Edward…"

If my stomach hadn't been turning before, it was definitely turning now. My tongue felt glued to the roof of my mouth and I nodded again dumbly.

"I just need to know that what's happening here, between _us_," He said, the words speeding up and almost blurring together, "Is as strong and real for you as it is for me."

I gazed at the beautiful, sincere and vulnerable man before me with awe. Never could I have imagined Carlisle Cullen saying these very potent words to me, and never could I have imagined _wanting_ him to say them to me as much as I did right now. The need for him was turning inside me so fast and hard, I was almost nauseous. I was burning with the feelings that had no words.

Carlisle was watching me steadily, searching desperately for some affirmation in my face.

"Bella." He said lowly, his voice dropping a silky octave. The deeper tone sent a shiver through me. "Please. Tell me you feel this. Tell me you're here with me."

I pressed myself closer into him, wanting and needing to feel the indescribable aura of the man before me. His back pressed against the counter edge and his hands splayed against the small of my back; I fought to suppress another shudder.

"I'm here," I whispered, "I'm here with you, Carlisle."

There was a perceptible widening of his eyes and the golden orbs threatened to swallow me whole. He licked his lips.

"Show me."

I knew what he wanted.

He wanted to breach that fine line we'd been dancing dangerously close to for the past few weeks and he wanted _me_ to initiate it. I had a burning feeling he'd already breached that line in his mind, and was just anticipating for me to join him there.

His lips shone wetly in the kitchen light.

I tilted my chin upwards; we were at close enough proximity that all he'd have to do was duck down and allow me the pressure against my lips that I craved.

I felt his breath even closer to my face now and I silently urged him forwards. Our toes were precariously close to breaching that line…

"Carlisle?"

His eyes went flat, the intense burning dissipating under my gaze. I regretted the abrupt loss of it and touched his jaw lightly, willing the fading moment to be drawn out again. Carlisle sighed softly and without breaking our stare, answered Nicholas' call.

"We're in the kitchen."

The footsteps were audible enough to hear his approach, and as our guest entered the kitchen, Carlisle shifted our position, tucking me under his arm. I couldn't break my gaze from his lips, still shining enticingly in the light.

We'd been so close.

"There's a problem."

With a great deal of effort, I looked away and in the direction of Nicholas' voice. The cell phone was still clutched in his fingers but there was a business-like authority in his stance; the vulnerable boy from the couch was long gone.

"What kind of problem?" Carlisle questioned warily, trepidation colouring his words.

"The Sebastian kind."

My attention was at full peak now, ears pricking up at the familiar name.

"He's back?" I asked, my voice unwavering. I was not afraid of him anymore, simply cautious of the lithe boy's intentions. "What happened?"

"Solenne wouldn't tell me much over the phone," He supplied, already leading us out of the kitchen, "But she said it's imperative we get there quickly."

He tone was reason enough for Carlisle to get moving.

"Come on, Bella," He said, pulling my hand along, "We can finish this another time."

There was a burning glint in his eyes that solidified the promise and I felt my cheeks heat, knowing Nicholas would have heard. Hastily, I allowed myself to be pulled along, awaiting the next time we'd be alone with a fluttering nervousness, whenever that was. I squeezed his hand in answer.

Nicholas lead us out the door and into the grim foray that awaited us.

A discordant cacophony welcomed us at the _Sauvage_ mansion.

Yells and jeers reverberated through the air around us and Nicholas, with his keen hearing, gestured towards the back woods behind the building. Carlisle and I followed in the boy's path as he shot off into the darkness posthaste.

We approached an enormous fire, flickering menacingly upon the faces of the vampires surrounding it. Four were standing with purpose in the middle of the loose ring of others, inches from the licking flames. One was Anneliese.

An acrid stench permeated the air.

"How could you do this! One of our own!"

A dark skinned man was squaring off with Anneliese, two other men flanking him. The rage in his face was extraordinary.

"It was necessary." She replied through clenched teeth, as if she'd repeated it too many times already and was fighting to keep her patience. "You know what's he done-"

"Regardless!" The man screamed, "He was _Sauvage_! He was one of us!"

The crowd yelled jarringly in assent of the man's words and the two cronies flanking him were almost snarling with anger. The only two vampires, aside from Anneliese, watching silently and without comment were Solenne and Nicholas, the latter simply looking confused.

I caught Solenne's eye over the flames and she did not supply me with her usual grin. Instead, she looked at me meaningfully, then flashed her eyes towards the fire, and back at me again. I followed her flickering gaze and saw the curling, thick trails of smoke disappearing into the sky that I hadn't noticed at first. Suddenly, it made sense.

_Sebastian? _I mouthed. Solenne nodded once and glued her gaze back to the ongoing argument as the yelling only seemed to crescendo.

"Carlisle," I whispered, tugging at his sleeve, "It's Sebastian, they-"

"I know," He replied as quietly, eyes glinting in reflection of the flames. I couldn't read him. He seemed both pained and relieved.

"Then you clearly don't understand what being _Sauvage _means!"

It was Solenne's voice this time. She was standing before Anneliese protectively, crouched as if ready to protect her from attack. I noticed the dark man's similar crouch and could only guess that he'd already lunged at the coven leader in the time I'd looked away.

"If you believe he was worth saving then you are not _Sauvage_!" Her voice pierced the air and the others went quiet. I had never imagined Solenne could yell like this, at anyone. "He disregarded our rules, he hunted humans as sport!"

I felt the knowing sting of eyes piercing me. Clearly, news of my attack had been duly received among the others.

"Sebastian was filth of the worst kind. A common vampire. He wasn't worthy of the coven's name." Solenne's eyes blazed in the orange light. "We gave him time and opportunity again and again to change his ways, but he refused! His own stubbornness brought about his end, not Anneliese!"

The crowd was quiet and my heart pumped loudly in my ears. I waited for someone to attack, to say something.

Anneliese broke the deafening silence.

"Sebastian's end is not the most worrisome thing, either. He is still dangerous even in death."

"What do you mean?" Nicholas asked, stepping forward. His eyes flashed to fire. I was suddenly reminded that Sebastian had been his friend.

"Before he attacked and we were forced to kill him, he said something." Solenne supplied hurriedly, retelling the part of the events he'd missed, "Something about another vampire he'd befriended. He said he wanted us to help her. All of us."

"Help with what? Who was she?" Nicholas asked, relaying the questions in my own head.

Solenne exchanged a worried glance with Anneliese and oddly, settled her gaze on me. "She wanted Bella."

The eyes of the circle were trained on me again but I didn't care. Carlisle stiffened. I gulped down a sudden wave of nausea. "W-what? Who was she, Solenne?"

"I don't know," She said regretfully, "We didn't even ask because we refused to help him straight away. He got so angry that he attacked us. And well.." Her eyes moved towards the fire, "We were forced to retaliate."

A rush of gratitude filled through me because of Solenne's protective gesture, but the questions were eating at me much more potently and the feeling passed quickly.

"You have no idea who she was?" I asked again. Carlisle was worryingly silent. I tried to run through a list of people I'd met in Paris so far, determining if I'd inadvertently made any enemies other than Sebastian…

"No, I'm sorry, Bella." Solenne said, sadly. "But I do think I may have seen a glimpse of her. Just fleetingly. There."

She pointed to a dark spot between the trees.

"What did she look like?"

Anneliese answered me this time. "She had eyes like ours, so she wasn't a Cullen or another human, for sure. And her hair. It was… bright. Like fire."

Fire hair.

My stomach was knotting now, and the urge to vomit overpowered my every sense. I think I'd started to sway but Carlisle's hand steadied me. I turned to look at him; the same fear I felt was emanating from his eyes.

"Carlisle, she's here. That's why…" I gulped, starting to sweat, "That's why Edward and the others couldn't find her. She was here. She was using Sebastian to… to hunt me."

There was no reassurance in his face as he grimly voiced the name unfurling in my head.

"Victoria."

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**Review?**

**And by the way, how cool is this new Image Manager thing on FF?  
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